The unexpected way Steph & G Funk met at Reach Conference Part 1

Welcome in everybody to the Church Digital Gaming Outpost Podcast. I get the great honor and privilege to have Assassinator Steph along with Gunkk Railroad and you would be surprised but you go to put assassinator in there and you search on Twitch there are a lot of assassinators but there's only one Assassinator Steph.

And there's a bunch of Gunkks but there's only one Gunkk Railroad and I've got both of them today. So welcome in, both of you.

Why don't you just say hello to everybody?

What's up, guys?

Hello.

Nice to see you.

God bless you. Doing well.

I hope everybody's doing well. If not, they're they then we need to pray for them if they're not doing well. But otherwise, they're here. They've got they've got the three of us and this has taken some time to coordinate and work out and I am so excited about it.

Also, just anybody that knows, ten o'clock is usually my bedtime and my bedroom is right upstairs. But since tomorrow is a holiday, my wife will not be doing anything tomorrow. So she can be interrupted and stay up when I get super excited on stream. So, you know, she's she's already good with that. So, that's one of those things.

Thank you so much, dude, for all you've done to make it work for us. I really appreciate it.

Absolutely. I've done this once or twice before and I just try to coordinate when she's out of town so that it works because I know there's your community. This is their time and I want to be here for when they are expecting you to be on instead of saying, "Well, you have to show up at my time." That doesn't make sense to me. It's it's for you and I want to be here for you and your community. Hey, Papsel, good to see you in here, friend.

And Tall Skinny Kiwi is from New Zealand. So he is already in tomorrow.

I love that. We Flat Cap is Let me tell y'all a little bit about Flat Cap for those that don't know. He usually streams in the mornings. We have the privilege of raiding him every now and then when we go super late, which happens kind of often, but he is a wonderful friend of me and Garrett's. We're actually able to meet him in person at Reach Conference and then at NCMS as well. And like I was telling y'all before, he's just as awesome in person as he is on stream. He doesn't have some different personality. He's just genuine all the time. He has such a heart for ministry, such a heart for community and the gaming community. And for people in general. So he's a great dude. Check him out. He's on So tell us real quick about the Church Digital. Is that I know that's not your main account. So no what is Church Digital?

Okay. So there are groups of Christian streamers that are together but there's also those of us who are more broad and just wanting to help people who are doing digital ministry. So the Church Digital began with an effort to help people do discipleship and do church planting. So digital church plants. So if you know Lux Digital Church, connecting with people like that with Mark Lutz who started that helping people be able to do things like that or just how do you disciple but about a year ago we shifted to being a digital missionary sending agency. And so I've been connected with them for three years in that ecosystem.

But not everyone's a gamer. So if you are just a missionary and we we have plenty of friends who are who are this. You're a missionary on the ground and you're in a country that is going to be oppressed or already persecution is happening and you're trying to figure out how to reach people, stay connected with them and not lose your faith community or be in danger. We're trying to help them figure out how to navigate digital spaces to do that. So we we have a WhatsApp community that we do some things over there, but we're also global. We've had a couple of digital conferences and we've had ninety different countries that we are connected with with people helping them figure out how to be a digital missionary.

So some are going to do that and in WhatsApp, some are going to do that in Discord. I mean, I just met a guy who he is a digital missionary. He just goes and explores Discord servers, you know, he gets an invite, he goes in non-Christian Discord servers, and he just goes in there to be Christ.

Now, he's not going in there to wow attack or, you know, I start with the gospel. He starts by building friends and as he builds friends in those those communities. He's just being salt and light in those. So there's a bunch of people who are so important. Yeah. There's a bunch of people who are feeling the call to digital ministry and we want to walk alongside of them and help them be able to do that.

So I since I got started doing digital ministry, you know, a few years ago in gaming and have been around that, it's kind of where God has now pushed me in that direction. And so the podcast here is really to highlight the gamers in the Twitch space. And so unlike a lot of podcasts you might listen to that are a half an hour or an hour and they're going to cut it short and they're going to just say this is all we are, we're here live on Twitch. And so I want it to be the full Twitch experience of whatever's happening in the moment. You're going to miss a lot if you're not here here live. You'll get the, you know, the edited version will come out on a Thursday in a few weeks probably. Actually, it'll be next month. It'll come out and everybody who's not here live will get a shorter version of what was going on here. I just basically cut the beginning and end. I don't I don't do too many edits in the middle at this point, but we we and then there's a few people in the chat here as well who've gone through a course that we have called Equipping Digital Missionaries.

So if you're trying to figure out how to think through what a missionary would do, we have a course helping you think that through from some missionaries who've been on the field to be able to bring those ideas and then we've adapted them to thinking about being a digital missionary. So a platform is really a place like a foreign country that you're going to. So Twitch being that foreign country that you might be going to.

So there's a little bit I wasn't planning on talking about that, but it's

No, I love it because I didn't I didn't know these things. I know if I'm curious, there must be other people, too.

Yeah.

Um, but yeah, what is the website? I would love to check it out.

Oh, it's it's it's simple. It's thechurch.digital.

Okay, perfect. Oh, I see Pastor Brian posted it. Okay.

Ah, there we go.

I'm going to save that.

The real Pastor Brian. Hey, welcome in, friend.

First time here. Yes. I see how how important it is we were even talking about this before when it comes to just digital ministry in general is the idea of re-evangelism.

Like you were talking about your friend going into chats not to just like and it's not you know it's not like it's a horrible thing to to to throw Jesus in people's faces but that's not the way many people will receive it to till the soil to for the seeds to be planted takes trust and like ninety percent of conversions happen in trusting relationships and not in like I say compared to like street preaching people stuff thrown at them and receive it well.

Well, and and there is a a venue that is set up with the expectations are going to be that's okay to do. So when Paul goes to the Areopagus, that's where you're supposed to go and share your thoughts and ideas.

An invite to somebody's private Discord server, they have rules. They're they're not expecting that. So, you know, if a Christian, you know, Discord server, you invite people in. It's it's the opposite way. The same way we don't want trolls coming in there. We don't want to be trolls for Jesus. So right.

Right.

And even the Areopagus example is Paul doing pre-evangelism with people. He directly addresses those things, but he he doesn't just go, you know, calling them out on everything. He he gives them he meets them where they're at, basically.

Yeah. I don't know if a lot of people think about pre-evangelism. I know G Funk, you and I have had those those conversations before, but one of the things people don't think about is you need to have someone bringing up things for you to have an interest and question more information. So some of those ways you might do pre-evangelism are going to be talking about struggles in your life and some things that God has helped you through. Talking about your prayer in a subtle way might be one of those or prayer life in in a subtle way might be one of those.

It could also be, hey, I was really struggling and all of a sudden somebody helped me out with something. It was amazing. You don't believe that this thing happened. That's a method of pre-evangelism. But also just talking about Jesus in general. That's one of the things that he gets us is trying to do is yes take away people's thoughts of well Jesus is just what a bunch of Christians follow and my my experience with Christians is they're always have rules they're against everything and they seem mean hateful right so so why would I ever want to have a conversation well if you can invite somebody to think about well wait a minute do you even know anything about Jesus are you curious about Jesus, you can now move them into a conversation or a curiosity around that.

Absolutely. That's very much our hearts, too. And I see Reach as an extension of that as well. We were having a long conversation with a dear friend of ours about the importance of pre-evangelism and tilling the soil because um like I've said to my community many times um throwing the Bible at someone is not at an unbeliever is not exactly helpful because they don't believe in it yet to begin with.

Yeah. So you got to reach them in in other ways and meet them where they're at.

And you'll cover it in your uh kind of your testimony, but the idea of what say what you always say about what your your whole point was streaming about um what you're trying to overcome about stereotypes.

Oh, trying to break the stigma that all Christians are just hateful, judgmental hypocrites.

Yeah, that's where you got to start.

Mission.

Oh, yeah. We'll get into that.

Yeah. Yeah. So and and I am good with going in in any any order that this conversation goes, but but we we were talked about to begin with was Steph having you on for the beginning and and Gunkk coming in a little bit later to just followed.

Hey, thanks for the follow.

Yeah, the order that we kind of imagined uh was uh interviewing kind of me over here and then us together since we're now married and uniting in ministry.

Yeah. So we'll just we'll just kind of go in that direction still. So and do you mind we were talking about this right before we got on. Um would you mind to lead us in prayer? We would be really honored.

Oh, yeah. To have you do that.

Absolutely. I appreciate that ask God. I just pray your blessing over this time together that there's someone who is going to come in that just needs to hear the story and you are going to be moving in them and stirring them to either draw closer to you or they're going to have encouragement or they're going to find strength in the midst of something they're dealing with. We don't know what that is. And we're not doing this to to edify ourselves. We're doing this to to show and to reveal that you are already at work and we have seen you at work and we feel called to join you in the ministry in the work where you're already at work and to join it and to invite others to do that. So just blessing upon this conversation upon all who are here.

I thank you for those who are who are here live and those who will join us later on, uh, wherever they find this. May it just be a blessing upon them.

May you just watch over Steph and Garrett and uh their family and be a blessing upon them and just guard our conversations, our hearts and minds as we draw people and point them to you in Jesus name.

Amen.

Amen.

Yeah, I appreciate you doing that. I often am the one that does that when I, you know, go jump into something and go, "Oh, why don't we pray before we do that?" It's funny when I'm the one trying to lead stuff how easy it is to then be focused on the task and we also did not jump on the call and have a conversation before we started where we might have done that.

So, thanks for asking for that.

Oh, of course.

I usually start with where did you first find Twitch? Because I don't make the assumption that you went and you heard about Twitch and you said, "Great, I'm going to go live on Twitch," and you just jumped in and did that. And then when you, so tell the story of how you came to find Twitch and then that process of making a decision to be a streamer and then if that's different than being a Christian streamer, then what was the decision later in the process for becoming a Christian streamer?

Wow. Yeah, those are a load of questions some time.

Yep. Exactly. Just go ahead and tell that. I might interrupt along the way if there's a little nugget of something I want to go, "Oh, wait, wait, tell me more about that."

Yeah, no worries. Um, so I've been a gamer my whole life and knew about the various streaming platforms, but was never really involved. Um, how I got started even being active on Twitch at all was um I helped uh a sister in Christ build a Discord community called God and Gaming.

Oh.

Um, and when I found out through TikTok actually that Christian gamers were like a thing in a group, I was so excited. I was like, "Oh my gosh, I feel at home in this space for the first time." Um, anybody who's been in the gaming space before finding community like this knows how lonely it can be as a Christian and how we often feel like, especially in competitive gaming, I feel like we have to kind of dampen ourselves down um because we receive a lot of scrutiny. You know, in public voice lobbies, people can be quite toxic and um man, if you say the name of Jesus, it's maddening to a lot of people.

Um, so we started—

Can I go ahead—

Take off on that point?

Yeah.

You are so just saying the name is it just that people get really mad and upset and they just don't like hearing it or is it some way triggering for them? And maybe there's not a difference, but I I think I'm trying to see if there is one where it's like they are automatically making assumptions about you because and that's triggering to them because they've had experiences with other people. Is that what's happening there?

I think it's I think it's just part of a toxic mindset in general. I think it's multi-layered.

So for a lot of people um when you talk about being a Christian or even mention Jesus uh his name evokes a lot of feelings in people whether they're a believer or not.

Um, and that's obvious. I I think obviously because of who he is, you know. Um, whether it be, you know, enemy working on people or people having past church drama or whatever the case may be, it just evokes a lot of emotion.

Okay. And in these gaming spaces, um, so COD used to be my main game and it COD public lobbies are very toxic towards females in general.

So they will find anything, not all of them, but a lot of people will find anything to just go at you and just attack you over um just internet, you know, bullies.

Um, well, and some of it's trash talking just like regular sports have trash talking. They're going to trash talk before the game and they—they may like I say maybe they cross the line, but I don't know what professional sports actually do.

Professional sports probably cross the line a lot too. There probably anything goes. Nobody's there to referee the language. They're only there to referee the rules.

So, it's probably a lot the same way of hey, you can say whatever in these channels uh if it gives you an advantage is probably what people are thinking.

Yeah. I think and I think part of it is just trying to get in someone's head, trying to bother them, make them play poorly.

Yeah.

Or just make themselves feel better, you know.

Um but yeah, it was it was very lonely. And when we um when I had found this Christian community, um I automatically jumped in being the helper that I am and wanted to um help build it and promote it.

And um I got very involved in that um from 2020. Uh we did Bible studies, we had a whole staff of um spiritual advisers, we did tournaments.

Um, we really united faith uh with the gaming space and it was very active. We had over 2,000 members still do in there.

Oh wow.

Um, and I was put in this uh ended up being the owner of it now. Um and was put in many positions where um I had to counsel others and um people would come to me for advice cuz you know I'm 36 now and you know this was um back when I was 30, right? So, I was like a mother hen to a lot of uh these young uh men and women. And so, they looked to me for advice a lot cuz I've been a believer for a very long time.

Um and had been involved in ministry in my home church. Um and it was very rewarding and I poured my whole heart into it.

And during that time, I was actually uh very disabled with my spinal things. Uh wasn't able to walk or anything and it gave me just a huge sense of purpose.

Um and so how I got started on Twitch is I actually saw some channels uh being posted in the server under our Twitch channels.

Um—

Okay.

Chat channel.

And I found uh Redeem J and TC Warrior.

Oh wow.

And it just goes on and on from there. And I got very active in their communities, uh, modding for them, wanting to help out in any way I could. Never thought I would be a streamer.

Was like absolutely not. There's I do not I'm an introvert. I do not like being in front of people. I do not like the idea of being stared at or anything.

Um, my setup was in the middle of my living room in a tiny little cabin. Um, I didn't want my kids on camera. I didn't want to be on camera.

Um, but God just kept pulling on my heart to stream as an extension of that ministry because it's one thing to type to someone.

But it's another thing if people can connect with you and hear, you know, voice inflections and uh pray with you and things like that.

And you can do that in voice chat to some extent, but um it got to a point where I was needed so much in there that I needed another outlet to have a more broad place for people to all come together.

Um so I started streaming, but as a VTuber, God put it on my heart, kept pulling on me. Um started in 2022, streamed for about a week or two, enough to get affiliate and got really discouraged, stopped for a whole year, and God did not let me go.

I did not. He was like, "No, ma'am, you're coming back." Um so when I did, I prayed. It was very prayerful over it and I was like, "Okay, God, this is so outside of my comfort zone.

I do not feel equipped. Um I do not feel good enough, you know, in my body. I felt trapped, you know, the enemy plays on those things.

And God said, "Do it anyway." And so I did. Um it's very personal and meaningful for me what God has done through all of it.

Um, and never expected to really uh build anything. Never expected to make money off of it. Um, never I never had donation links or anything like that.

Never was. And and I still to this day don't I was never like sub to me, you know. Um, I was just there to try to help others and prayer was a big part of that.

Um and is still a huge part of my community and try to just share the wisdom, encouragement that I've learned along the way and how God has moved in my life with all of my broken pieces.

Um and it just it just took off. Um so that's kind of like how we got to Twitch. And then um through Reach Conference and talking to people there, they encouraged me to face cam which was so scary for me.

Um I know I seem very comfortable and open and uh chipper in my community cuz it's a place of comfort for me but—

Yeah—

It was so intimidating.

Um but I took the plunge and did it. And uh so we went from kind of feeling like uh Jonah, not wanting to go to Nineveh and then dipping our toe in the water and then going away from it and then um doing it as a VTuber and then face cam.

So—

Yeah—

Crazy crazy journey. Um but it really taught me that when God leads you to something and you're obedient, it's okay to be scared.

It's okay to not feel equipped. You don't have to be a pastor or apologist to talk about Jesus on the internet. Keep uh growing and seeking.

It also keeps me accountable. Um cuz I know I have a lot of people that look up to me. Um and it keeps me in my word cuz a lot of big theological topics come up and I I don't want to lead people in the wrong way.

And it taught me that it's okay to tell someone, hey, I don't know the answer to this. And you'll actually gain a lot of trust and respect for that.

It provides a space where we can research it together and figure it out together.

That's a really good piece. Yeah.

Yeah. The I don't have to be the answer person and we can discover it together is a much better place to be than I have all the answers and then people find out maybe you didn't know what you're talking about and now they don't know whether to believe you about anything else.

Right? And that's something I tell my chat all the time.

I'm like, take what I'm telling you and compare it to scripture. Compare me to scripture. Compare your pastor to every to. You have to compare everything to scripture.

Yeah.

And I'll tell people, you know, this is my understanding of something. And you're welcome to share your view. And I tell people too, it's okay if you disagree with me.

I'm not going to be hateful towards you about it. You're welcome to share your views. I don't allow debating because that's not fruitful. Like are they ever fruitful?

But I wanted to create a place um as an extension of God Gaming where people can come right where they are, whether they're unbelievers, brand new believers, seasoned believers, and uh we can come to a place where you're going to feel welcomed.

You're going to make friends, and we're going to talk about Jesus. We're going to encourage you. We're going to um not feel scared to mention God's name and whether someone comes into the community and is a believer or not, we're going to love him just the same cuz that's what Jesus taught us to do. Um so yeah, that's a little bit about how we got started and just the crazy journey it's been since starting.

Yeah.

So addendum. When when you when you got started, did you get everything set up with the VTuber immediately when you you started initially?

Oh, no.

At the very beginning, um, so here's what brought me into VTubing when I didn't want to face cam at all is because I was a viewer for years and a support person for years um in the streaming space.

I knew from a viewer's perspective. Um, and I'm so glad I had that experience because it's I honestly feel like it really equipped me to be a good streamer.

I knew that for me when I watched a stream where I didn't have something to connect with, whether it's a picture of someone or some animation or a camera, I have a really hard time connecting with someone.

I need that visual. And I was like, well, if I feel this way, other people might feel this way. So, for anybody out there that doesn't do facecam, I encouraged you to have something there just from a viewer's perspective.

It really does help relate and I feel like it really will help your viewership as well. But I put a picture of myself up at the beginning, okay? And then kind of learned how to be in the background and then brought that to my community and they loved it. Um, and the VTuber model that I used was not an anime one.

That's like the most popular style you see. Um, it was actually a motion capture 3D model that tracked every single facial expression I did. At one point I had a hand tracker, too. Um, so it was a really different version of it, but I felt like with the motion capture, it really brought more of that human element to it so people can absolutely relate and connect to it.

Yeah, I don't think I had caught you early on when you just had the photo, but I do remember as a VTuber and yours compared to some others like, and I have one on my fish channel and it's just a fish and the mouth moves. That's it. There's like no emotion and you're like, "Okay, the mouth is moving." Like, there you're not going to sit there and watch it because of that. But yours, yeah, I could sense all of your emotions, your feelings, all of those things. I had wondered too on some level because I don't know if maybe it's just my observation and it could be wrong, but I know there are plenty of women who go into VTube from a standpoint of also safety to protect themselves from people knowing who they are. So to then put your face out there and make yourself visible is also a piece of being vulnerable to your community.

Oh, it is. Yeah. Uh, the biggest safety part of it was for my kids because I streamed in the middle of my living room. There was nowhere else to put my setup except for that one spot in this little cabin in the woods, you know, and in my living room, that's where my kids were gaming and living life. And, um, you know, I didn't have like another way to kind of hide that. Didn't have a green screen or there wasn't a way I could put like a curtain up because it was right in a doorway. Um, so the privacy, the biggest part of the privacy thing for me was my kids, right? And like even my oldest two, they don't like being on camera at all. They've had very limited interactions with me as a facecam streamer. My daughter is different, but I let her come as she's comfortable. I never make her come on stream like that. Um, and then it was definitely as a female, um, felt very safe. Um, one reason why I was really discouraged when I first started streaming is I had a friend group of Christians where I was like, I want to be a VTuber. I feel like this is a good middle ground. And I was really, um, not supported in that. And those friends ended up being pretty toxic about it and saying that all YouTubers are these fat ugly women. Um, and it really discouraged me and made me feel, um, just pushed me away from it. So that's a big reason why I stopped streaming the first time because I was like, well, I don't feel like I can really do efficiently what God has called me to do without something. Um, so that was a big discouragement factor. But, um, when a woman puts herself out there on the internet, especially in a public eye, yeah.

Safety is something we really need to consider. It doesn't matter what you look like. Yeah. Just being a woman, right? Yeah. Absolutely. Just being a woman, putting yourself out there, you need to protect yourself. And yeah, absolutely. I knew there was also the level of your kids as a parent. You know, that is a much safer way if you have little kids that might be wandering through than oops, I got to quick stop the stream. Oops, I got to do these things. Uh, having much more control over there is a much, much safer environment. I don't have those issues or concerns. My kids are all grown and they're not going to be wandering accidentally. And my wife isn't going to wander in accidentally either. She'll text me and say, "What's going on? Can you come upstairs?" She's not going to wander in here. She doesn't like being on camera.

Oh, no. No. She has no interest in being on camera whatsoever. No, she did like it when I was upstairs and I was next door to her office when I started and she would be texting me and saying that's not how the story happened or she'd just be laughing at me and correcting stuff and it was like, you want to come on camera and we can have a conversation? And it's like, no, no, I'm just sitting here. And then when I moved downstairs, she started complaining, I don't get to listen to you. Well, we could set you up with a TV right here while you're working. No, no, I'm supposed to be working. You were already supposed to be working for the last year while you were listening to me. So why is it different now that you... But she likes having you in proximity.

Uh, just there's some prayers going on in the chat. Uh, mama of three does, uh, saying having some chest pain. So a few of us were just trying to give encouragement there. Like, hey, what is the pain like? Do you need to get it checked out? Do not ignore it. Uh, if there, I'm just going to say this too, because that would take me too long to, if you have any pain that's then radiating into your arm, you need to call 911 right away, especially if you are a woman because that is probably a heart attack and you're going to ignore the symptoms. So please don't ignore the symptoms and think it will go away. Uh, make sure you get it checked out. Uh, yeah, what if it's nothing? Yeah, but what if it is something and you don't do something? So just going to make that encouragement there, which is interesting because, uh, I have at churches I've been, we have installed uh, defibrillators. I'm trying to think about the AEDs, uh, in the churches because it's one of the places where people gather and they can have something happen and you can help and be needed to respond to someone.

In fact, one of the churches I was at had a person that after the service drove their car up front. And this is before I was there, but they had this experience. So when I said we're going to get it, they were excited. Hey, we can have something to help. But they were in rural Iowa and the guy drove up to pick his wife up in front of the church and he passed away. Had a massive heart attack right in front of the church. And since it's rural Iowa, forty-five minutes is the expected time for EMS to show up because they're volunteers. So anytime you can have, so I'm just giving a bigger kind of thought here on the whole thing. Uh, you've been in and out of the hospital for your heart. They, you have pills. Okay. Okay, mama. All right. We'll be praying for you around that and that your pills will take effect of what they need to.

Yeah, she's a good sister in Christ. She's had some struggle with her heart, um, in the recent months. So we've been in constant prayer over her.

Okay. See, and that's why I said we'll just stop. What's important is what's going on in chat just as much as our conversation because that, I think, is one of the things that I just love so much of being in chat and being in stream rather than when I'm in the pulpit. When I'm in the pulpit, I have this time frame. I'm, and I say it this way, I'm monologuing. I mean, it's a sermon, but I'm saying that from the standpoint of no one else has the platform to be able to speak at the same time I am. And so you need to wait until afterwards unless it's tragic, you know, is usually the case. Uh, that nobody interrupts. They're going to wait. They're not going to get care that they need. They're not going to ask questions. They're not going to say, "Wait a minute. What did you say there? Uh, you know, can you back up? I think you misspoke." You don't get any of that when you're preaching, but I get that all the time when I get to engage people uh online. And so, yes, uh, I just wanted to take a moment and address that. So, absolutely, we reject your apology as well, ma'am.

Oh, no, no, no worries about the sorry. We were just responding to your probably very small, hey, I'm having chest pain and you just wanted it to go past and we had cares and concerns and wanted to make sure you were okay that you weren't ignoring something that was bigger than you're thinking it is. So that's all. So no worries about that whatsoever. And we, they prayed in chat and I muted and prayed in my stream. So thank you, honey.

Oh, we are cool. We are tackling it from every angle. Yeah, she's very special to us.

Awesome. Well, just to go back then, so you, to pick up where we were. So you take the year off and it sounds a little bit like you did not have a good group of people encouraging you because, and that's just disappointing because one of the things that I think at times that God allows us to do and maybe we don't think about this enough is when Moses was arguing with God, God made a concession and said, fine, here's Aaron. I will let you do it in a different way than I was expecting to begin. Now, here's another funnier one that not a lot of people will know is uh, when uh, the prophet is, is, and I'm trying to remember which one it is and Garrett you probably know, is arguing with God about you're going to have to cook your meals over dung and he's like, no, no, no, I can't.

Ezekiel.

Yeah, Ezekiel. I was trying to remember if it was Ezekiel. No, no, no, I can't do that. Paper on that and I remember that being one of the most like outrageous, like what the heck is God doing?

Right. Right. So I'm going to let you not do it over human feces. You can do it over cow feces instead. Like, that's the concession. It's like, what? Why is that? Anyway, it's sometimes we get to, I don't want to say negotiate, but we get to be real and honest with God, and absolutely, and God says, "Okay, you're not ready yet for the fullness of this. Let's get you started where you are." And so in that way, yeah, being a VTuber is getting you started and moving in that direction and then God keeps burning within you to say you need to do more. You need to step into it and you need to go back to it. Vulnerable. Yeah. And it honestly provided me with friends and family that I have not had my entire life until now. Um, so God, I feel like God really honored that vulnerability and that's, vulnerability is not easy. Um, anyone that's come into my streams, y'all know we get real. We get deep. We get personal. Um, others need it. I need it. We try not to stay there too long and try to always end with encouragement and truth of the word. But the fact is like so many people are hurting and struggling. They don't have people, they don't have community, they don't have family, they come from trauma. Um, and they're seeking connection with someone who's going to honestly give a crap. Um, I needed that in my life. And so, as much as I'm trying with the help of the Lord to supply that to others, they're doing the same thing for me and my family for the first time. So it's a very, it's just such a God thing, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And you coming from some health issues and that coming into it having a sense of here's something I can actually do and I can contribute and I can invest in people. I really think that that's, I keep running into people that I don't know that about and then I find that out about them.

It's it's oh here's my limitations but in digital space my limitations are able to be overcome in a way that my physical limitations are always in the way in physical spaces.

Right. Yeah. Going through um the health thing. So I've got two degenerative uh chronic diseases and they'll they'll get worse over time. It's not something that can be curable unless the Lord intervenes.

And I'm making room for that in my heart and affairs. Um to you just it was I was very neglectful of my health because I had went through a lot of things where with doctors where things were being missed um when I needed um surgery that was 97% chance of being cancer. So I'd lost a lot of trust in the healthcare especially in a rural area. Um and through God opened um this little clinic that was a Christian clinic with doctors and uh for the first time in many years um I was like I need to be seen for this stuff. I can't even walk and God just took control of my health with the help of the Lord. Um, so God moved in that.

Um, finally got help with my spine things and I still struggle and it still hurts, but I'm walking now, you know. Um, and God put it big on my heart to share those things because if I'm going through it, there's other people going through it.

Yes. Absolutely. I used that time of being stuck to be obedient. And like I tell people all the time, well, if I'm going to sit here, I'm going to hurt anyway. I might as well do something for God, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. If you're I'll either sit over here and hurt or sit over here. So, I might as well use it for good, you know.

Yeah. So, uh, maybe just, uh, before we we bring, uh, Garrett in, talk about him him getting started a little bit. As you've been streaming, what have been some, uh, obstacles that you've had to overcome? And then some moments of joy and celebration that you've had.

It can be answers to prayer. It can be just something unexpected that happened that came about because you were streaming. So, if you can kind of go with the the pluses and the the minuses, just kind of talk about some of those things that you have seen and you and you've dealt with as you've streamed.

Yeah. So, some downsides and and some things that have happened that have been hard to overcome is because I never had community. Um, I was removed from my church. I moved far away from it. I had physical limitations. Um, and I was an hour from a church that I would even consider going to.

Um, which I couldn't do. I I wasn't able to ride in a car that long, but I was really missing that that fellowship. And when I finally found other Christian gamers and started building a community and such, I didn't have the social um skills and awareness to be as discerning about people as I feel like I would have been if I had that exper more of that experience in my personal life. So I was very trusting with people too trusting and many people took advantage of that.

Um whether it was community members or people that I had put on my mod staff and it it hurt a lot and it was so hard to not take it personal because when I love people I love them deeply and I don't know how to love small I love big. That's just who I am. Um, so I'd been hurt a lot by by people. Um, faced a lot of uh from the female side of it, a lot of jealousy, a lot of um backbiting type stuff.

And I was just not raised to be that way. I I from from never be that way. Just other people in the in the Twitch community or from Christians in the Twitch community?

Christians in the Twitch community. not not streamers, just uh people that I had met through, you know, streaming in general and Discord.

Okay. Um uh one crazy thing I went through, and I'm not going to mention any names or anything, but uh there were there was even a couple that um were really supportive of me in my community for a long time, and they ended up kind of praying on me as a single mom. and wanted me to become uh part of a polygamy group with them.

Oh, okay. So, learned a lot. Um, very unique. Removed them. Uh, yeah. Not not a lot of people know about that, but that was crazy. and having to set boundaries when people do these things and try to take advantage um meant that I had to be okay with the lack of income that would come from that.

The way that I was supporting my kids, but uh God met me there every single time. You know, it got it would get hard and then God God would just show up and provide anyway.

So, um those were obstacles. And as a woman, um especially when I was single, there was a lot of uh men in my community that I think because I'm so sweet and personable. Yeah. kind of had this fantasy idea in their minds that if I'm really generous to her in her community, maybe she'll, you know, want to date me.

And I and I was never even seeking that. Never wanted that, never entertained it. But people will still try, you know. Doesn't matter doesn't matter what you look like. They don't care.

Yeah. Um and so um had to lose some friendships in that way. And even when Garrett and I um went public about our relationship because we wanted to unite together in ministry, um I had a lot of lot of males drop their support and leave too and that was really hard to navigate. Um, but those are just some of some of the biggest challenges and also um fighting spiritual forces that will try to just discourage you and tell you all kinds of stuff like you talking about God on the internet.

You have no qualification. You're just a woman. Um, you know, the enemy trying to just Yeah. tell you that your words are not effective. Um you're not you're not changing anything, you know, things like that. Um which, you know, still is a battle at times because the enemy is a jerk and relentless.

But um especially when we go into our Sunday streams because those are our sermon days where we watch a sermon together. Garrett will tell you it's like it's almost like clockwork. there's something that's gonna try to go wrong or some uh discouragement I just suddenly face out of nowhere when it comes to those days that are dedicated just to faith things.

Um so that's been a challenge, but you know, we're we're warriors. We're fighting with God every single time. And I'm, as Garrett will tell you, I'm annoying because I don't back down. I don't I will not admit defeat. um especially over the enemy and the lies that he tells us. And um even if we don't even get to stream till 1:00 a.m.

um God's not limited by a clock and we're going to we're going to put the word of God out there. There's people on Twitch lonely at 1:00 a.m. that that need to hear it. Um so we we pushed through those things. Um the hurricane was a big setback too, but um that was a big Yeah, we can also move.

Yeah, we can come back to the the hurricane a little bit later because I do want to talk about that, but let's let's let's hold off on that one.

So, what have been some some then blessings that you have experienced?

Yeah. Yep. Big big blessings from it. Uh, the biggest thing that I can honestly sit here and say, and it's hard not to get emotional talking about is is when I have people that will come in and say, "Hey, um, I've been lurking in your stream a long time, and because of your encouragement and the things that you're teaching and saying, um, I've now become a believer."

Yeah. And that's the biggest thing. And it really helps um combat those feelings like those those feelings and lies from the enemy that when he tries to tell you that you're not being efficient and you're not making a difference.

Um so th those are the biggest moments. We actually had a person recently uh come in and and say that and it was just a huge praise moment and it's happened many times.

Um there's many people that will come in and um they seem to understand the encouragement and and the truth you're trying to tell them. Um but you never really know how it impacts them. But man, when there's people that come in that are just silently listening and are impacted by it, that's just huge.

Yeah. Um that is so cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's number one for sure. And I and like you said, I think I think those are the things like when I have days where it's like I just don't know if I want to do this or I just don't know if it's going to it's the I don't know if that person that's lurking it that needs me to be there today is going to be there or I just say, you know what, I had that one person last month that came in and told me that and I just need to stay faithful to to going and and being available. I like your your attitude there. Well, if we didn't get started till 1:00, okay, then we get started at 1:00.

And and that might be the time that uh that person that needs me is going to be showing up. I I often refer to those kinds of things as divine appointments where you don't know, yes, the person you're going to encounter.

And I've had many of those that were just bizarre by the number of things that were out of the ordinary that happen along the way. That's like, okay, I normally do this. I didn't do that. So, like going back and forth to my mom's house, I normally stop in the same town at the same gas station.

So, for me to then one time choose to go to the next exit and decide I'm going to go get a drink for that restaurant to be closed so that I end up at the gas station sooner. And as soon as I get out of the the vehicle to pump gas, a guy comes up to me and says, "Hey, Padre, I'm dressed in a t-shirt and a hat." Like, why does he think I'm a priest?

But the Holy Spirit had said, "Go talk to that guy." So, I won't even give you the the whole rest of the story, but it was like just like, "Hey, I was supposed to be there in that moment for that person." And it's like, and this he he was from Texas and I'm 4 hours away from my house. So, how did that coordination work out other than God, you know, appointing that to happen? And it can happen just as easily online.

So, Oh, yeah. every every time we beat ourselves up all the well me especially I'm hard on myself but we beat ourselves up about the timing that we can get to stream because my stream schedule was way earlier before and now life is so just chaotic and different and so we're constantly trying to get get live earlier but we have so many other things going on constantly in the background some shared a lot not shared um so we are just struggle with all the time.

Um, but those times where we are especially late and I'm at the point where I'm like, do I even stream, right?

Do should I what's do I even bother today? Can I do it anyway? Almost every single time there is a person there that is um needing support and like you said, a divine appointment.

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God's divine orchestration. Um, it's like every single time there's something that happens where I was there exactly when God wanted me to be. Um, so that's that's been a big big encouragement about about that for sure.

Yeah. Really cool. Any any other thoughts before we we move on and get Gunkk in here for a little bit?

Yeah. Well, also it led me to Garrett That's kind of important.

Yeah. Side note. Side note. Well, we we'll we'll come back to that conversation, too.

So, can't can't forget to mention that. Yeah. Well, no, we Well, it's it's one of those things like you just got to keep teasing that part of it that that you know, we'll get to that part.

Stay tuned. Stay tuned. You have to listen all the way to the end to get that part of the story.

Yeah. And and honestly, the the generosity that people have, you know, I've never been a streamer that's you know those streamers that are like hyping up in the chat like yeah

Let's sub, let's do no, let's do. I'm just, I can't be that way. I come from a very poor background. I've always been in that struggle area, especially as a single mom. So I understand when people can't, and I never want anyone to feel bad about that.

Right. I'm not here for money, and I told people and I tell them all the time. Even if I never make another dime on Twitch, I'm being obedient to what God is having for me. The rest of it, God will move in. But he also had to work on my heart about, well, you have not because you asked not.

So I'll put things out there, but I don't harp on them. Like I tell chat, I'll mention it one time. This is what the donut goal is and this is what it's for. That's it. If you feel led, cool. Other than that, you know, but God has moved in that in big ways and provided huge needs for me, my kids, and my family. Um, so I want to give God all the praise and glory for that as well. Um, he's moving in all things seen and unseen.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Gunk, why don't we bring you here into the conversation?

Doesn't he look so cute?

Yes. I love that tie. I love the tie. Yeah.

That's from our wedding.

That's what I wore. Yeah, this is my bow tie from our wedding day. I was like, I don't have a tie ready. I was like, oh.

Got the dapper hat. You had to match the energy, you know.

Exactly. My thoughts.

You don't know how many times. Yeah, she did actually dress me, Zakius.

He picked it out, but I did help him put it on. She came in and did the amazing wife thing where she puts the tie on and then she like folds down the collar and like straightens it like you look so good.

Um, bow ties are cool. Uh, you know how many times during all the time whenever Stephanie's streaming I like am starting to type something in chat about like to pick up on what she's saying, what other people do and then she just picks up on it and does the same thing. We're so like connected in how we think since the beginning, but and we'll get to that in theology and trains of thought and I can't tell you how many times during y'all's talk I wanted to say something and then she just covered it and I'm like, okay, she's got this. She knows what she, and but I'm I'm I feel like I need to I will expand on some of it.

Because I'm your missing rib, baby.

You are. You are. You're my other side. Your other half is technically the theological thing from the side. Took the side. Yes, we don't need to go in that. Yeah, we don't need to go that direction. That's a whole topic in there. Put that out there. She's not as insignificant as it did.

There we go. Other half. I want to give you some tasted talk. So, I don't know if I'd met the two of you around the same time, but I I know uh Gunk uh was hanging out with you quite a bit. You were going through seminary and and doing that and studying and you were doing some of that on Twitch. So, how did you get initially connected to Twitch and then make the decision to go and and be a Twitch streamer?

So, um the best way to talk about it is to talk about the trajectory into seminary and then how that all unfolded because obviously God works. So, um, after college, I went and worked in the oil, uh, oil industry, oil and gas industry in my hometown in West Texas. And during that time, I was going on mission trips, uh, to Uganda during the summer when I had free time. Well, I was an independent contractor, so I could take off time I wanted, just not get paid. So I would go on mission trips and I got a very good uh kind of like crash course all the time in missions and intercultural ministry.

So uh that was going on and then also I got really deep into uh kind of some wings of Messianic Judaism or some people would call it Hebrew roots too, but that can be all be I never really latched on to to any of that. I just kind of got into Jewish Hebrew thought and all that mixed together, especially with my pastors at the time encouraging me to get some peers around me and to go to seminary, which I eventually was like, you're right. I can't just learn everything on the internet. I there's so much stuff on the internet. So, I was like, I need to have constructive, well-educated peers around me to kind of like narrow my focus and check me on some of the stuff that you might be learning on the internet.

So, that's why I went to seminary. Um, and I went to an evangelical seminary that's very ecumenical, meaning it has some denominations represented lots of diverse thoughts in the minors. And you have to learn how to disagree graciously and well.

Yes.

Um, and uh, they also had a Messianic Judaism uh, uh, Master of Divinity. And I didn't do that because you not enough people took it to have enough classes available for me to get it. Uh so I did intercultural ministry or missions as my uh focus for my masters.

Um so I got to kind of sorry.

Uh you're right. Uh Denver Seminary um in Littleton, Colorado.

Was it is there a certain branch or?

So it started out as a conservative Baptist seminary in the fifties. Uh and then it kind of branched out into a general uh evangelical seminary. Um the the man who started it was an amazing man um and uh very very well-rounded and also into a lot of counseling. The seminary actually has the first accredited counseling from a seminary that's nationally accredited of any seminary in the US. So there was a there's a counseling program that goes alongside of it and all people who have an MD have to take pastoral care and counseling and do some kind of aspect of that. So I think it was a good mix of learning first how to I think the best way to say what missions is is how to contextualize or bring the gospel into the context of whatever culture you're talking into.

Um and for me it was both American western culture and uh then it was into Jewish culture which has its own unique opportunities since Jewish culture is based biblically and not just you know some other like pagan religion necessarily like Hinduism or Islam or anything like that. But uh I learning those things and then during my time in seminary I think about a year before I graduated I had a friend um a lot of a lot of people might know him. His name is Wari when he streamed and he's streamed every once in a while.

Uh he was in all my intercultural ministry classes. He got a uh an MA.

Oh, I didn't know you actually knew him in class. Oh, that's cool.

We knew each other before he started streaming. Yeah, we were actually in a house church together. He invited me to house church cuz he was like it was like in these intercultural ministry classes there's I think tops seven eight people in those classes and a lot of times it was just three or four and he was one of them. So, we had a lot of time to kind of ruminate and talk together and kind of uh a style. And I had um uh my mentor uh his mentor as well um uh Scott Clingsmith. He was a a missionary in Hungary for about thirty years. and he um he was the head of the uh intercultural ministry department uh MD and he was my mentor. I chose him as a mentor because of that and he was his mentor as well. So we kind of all were all together in the same groups. They invited me to house church. Um him and his wife Hana and um we had a house church of about seven people that we met up weekly.

And then during the there was a time and his story kind of branches off into mine because about a year before I even started viewing anything on Twitch. I found out about Twitch because he had a stomach bug stomach virus and he was out for a month of like socializing and stuff staying home a lot. He was very discouraged and he found Twitch. He actually found Pastor Susie stream.

Oh okay.

And he and he got into Twitch there. He got a lot of community. Um, and uh, over that next year, he was really into uh, Pastor Susie's community. He actually went to go be the the the missions or intercultural ministry pastor at God Squad Church.

Nice.

Um, for about six or eight months. They moved out to North Carolina and they did um, some uh, work with that. They ended up after about a year moving home. Uh but that's beside the point. Whenever they were out there and they had already moved, um it was the I think the end towards the middle to end of co late twenty twenty. Um, and I had been gaming and I had graduated in uh, so I I basically graduated in the beginning of twenty nineteen in seminary, went to Israel uh, for my practicum, which means I basically have to go out and do intercultural things in a different culture and do something for um, working with the gospel in other cultures. And I came home and I just kept doing serving tables. And for about six months I've uh well actually it was about a year uh that I was just serving tables and I wasn't really using my degree. I was applying to different different pastor positions across the nation. I didn't care where it was. I just wanted to do it. And I got into the final running of about three different churches over that time.

But kind of my particular bent of uh being young, a lot of older mission pastors are the ones they'll hire. There are a few people, a few positions that I had that I'm not sure if my kind of particular bent towards uh Jewish evangelism was their necess was their fit. They never said that or even expressed skepticism. U because my whole thing with missions is it's not going out there to the other countries. Missions is across the street. It's right, you know, missions is uh, you know, doing the soup kitchen. Go to your neighbor. You know, go to your neighbor. Who's my neighbor? Everybody, right? Um, so a lot of people like to think that that they're that they we send the missionaries out there. No, every and honestly, I'll pick up on a point you guys were talking about. You were talking about joining God and his work. Y.

Mhm.

There's a book called The Mission of God, and it's one of my favorite books we read in seminary and intercultural ministry class, and it's about how from the beginning, God had a mission towards humanity to get them back into relationship after the fall and through Abraham and through, you know, the promise to Abraham and through Israel and then ultimately through the ultimate Israel, Jesus coming and the Holy Spirit and all these things, God's been on on a mission to get people back um to bring them back into relationship into where he um ha had them and where he wants them which is going to be a higher better existence than even the garden.

So the idea is um we join God in his mission. That's why when I say mission, notice I've been saying missions, I've like ingrained that in my head. Missions is what we do plural. Mission is what God does. we are joining God in his mission. So, I was really kind of discouraged because I felt like I wasn't using my gifts, I wasn't using knowledge, I wasn't using any of that.

Um, and um whenever uh my friend Lucari was streaming, he had been streaming for a while. he was still streaming and I was just like, you know, like I wanted I got excited cuz I was I I had a film degree whenever I went to Texas to go work in oil and gas with a film degree. So, I didn't use it either. I kind of went to where the money was and where I had connections and I didn't want to work on sets or do like I mean I was always into documentary so I always.

You had conviction about certain things too, right? when it comes to acting, when it comes to like getting into I'm going to spend I did screenwriting as well.

So spending all my time like writing this make believe story and my vision and it's very self-centered, self-focused. Um, it doesn't have to be those things can be used like you know like we talk about the chosen or we talk about other Christian movies like the forge uh or like a bunch of stuff now is happening with those things. So, I think it can be used and geared, but uh I was drawn more towards um documentary cuz it was as close to real life as you could get.

So, I would document the film the missions trips we went on and um and then that was I kind of did a little bit with that here and there. I did some weddings um etc etc. But I was like, I have the skill set to do this. And right, I um you know, up to that point, even I remember during 2020, um I just had a PlayStation 4.

So back into the gaming, I've always been a gamer. Uh very limited to like uh first-person shooters and sports games for the most part. And I've always for for a decade and a half whenever I would be on these games, I would always make really good friends cuz I'm very outgoing and very social and I would always make really good friends with people on all sort.

First it was on Xbox, then I switched to PlayStation in 2014 with Destiny. Then I made all sorts of friends with people and I would talk about God and I would talk about deep things because you know this is during mission trips. This is during like learning Greek and Hebrew before seminary or at least learning all these theological things. I've always been very deep and I'm a sharer.

So everything I learned I want to share with people. Um so it's one of those things where um I remember even like you guys were talking about um the uh being able to go into these spaces with the name of Jesus. Some people, you know, for the most part, people were very receptive when it was in a closed space, when it was just in a voice chat with two or three people.

That's different. Yeah. Right. Right. And even people who would be cussing all the time when you're playing with them. Um, and you know, I'm not here to just like cut myself off from those people in those places cuz who's if you know who you who's who are you going to send, right? You have to have a preacher. You have to have somebody to actually proclaim. uh you have to have someone who's going to be a witness and be an ambassador for Christ even in those areas.

Um and that's a whole other debate within within Christian streaming. But the the ministry that I think I was doing that I already felt kind of like part of was talking to these people about their life, about God, uh being with them and helping them kind of navigate hard life situations.

So that's kind of what I was doing even in 2020 with a few friend groups that I was playing COD with because that's when War Zone came out. So all that year I was just working two jobs during CO and during CO what do we do? We work if you're in an essential industry cuz I was a server and I was a Door Dash driver during that time and I was a a Jimmy John's driver.

So it was just all that together. I had a job. I never stopped working during co because all those things were essential worker jobs. But during the time where I'm just sitting home and you know I'm playing COD. So that was kind of my life at the time.

And I remember feeling convicted like I need to use my gift. So I started watching Twitch. I started getting into the communities first with AI when it was AI and Peach because that's actually uh when Kari's like AI will tell you he's the reason he uh that AI started streaming. Him and his family started streaming. Oh, cousin Wari. I didn't know that. They're very, very close friends and he encouraged him and he ministered to him about it.

Um, and Aki and Peach just took off like from the beginning. Um, very unique, very very good heart. Um, everything that they are today, they were in the beginning. They're just more refined. Um, right. And then I got into Jate stream and me and Jate became good friends pretty quickly. So, I was literally just watching their streams all the time, interacting, and and I had my first taste of like a Christian digital community.

Um, so that was in I think it was around October of 2020 that I started getting on Twitch. And then in November, I remember I'd already kind of made the decision, this is what I want to do. I was already encouraged by having a friend who was doing it, who had been in ministry, telling me about all these opportunities for for ministry that's out there about the gaming world and how gamers are kind of like a Yeah. for for a missions term, they're a unreached people group. Yep. Uh we can use that a little loosely, but that's basically what they are.

They're people who there's plenty of people in the gaming world who might not ever hear the gospel, might not ever go into into a church. they're completely separated from Christian ideas or culture or or opportunities. So to and into a lot of the toxic toxicity that comes with gaming, right?

The the world like they're they're in the world. They don't have uh you know like Paul says, you are in the world without hope. Like that's where we got to bring the hope. That's where we got to bring bring the light is into the darkness. Yeah. Um, well, one of the things the church digital we we talk about is platform as place.

So, when you're when you're thinking that if you put gamers in a place and I I I haven't looked at the numbers recently, but I I think that uh the number of people that identify globally as a gamer is 3.5 billion people. So, if if that was a continent, right, we would go there. So since it's not a continent, but it's a place, it's nearly half the world.

Yeah, it's Well, and in 10 years it will be over half the world, the the rate that it's growing. So Mhm. So we definitely need to go there, right? I mean, exactly. It's a place um it's a people and it's more diverse than any one country you can go to.

So gamer culture is its own thing. So part of the intercultural ministry and bringing that into both you it's kind of a combination of knowing gaming culture and also knowing for the most part western culture uh knowing apologetics how to enter into that.

So whenever I started streaming actually what happened was um it was Black Friday. I remember during Black Friday I was like I'm g I'm gonna I already kind of decided I was going to do it and I saw and I was like there's a Black Friday sale like I'm getting a new I'm getting a gaming PC. I never had a gaming PC. I never had a PC since college 2004 and it was like a Dell kind of like basic laptop like you couldn't game on that if you wanted to.

I did it for like Microsoft Word and stuff for for college assignments. Um, so it was like high-end relatively mid if we're not getting pretty relative about this. It's it's mid. If it's a laptop, it's still mid for gaming, right? I mean, well, you know, I I I spent Well, this is when government stimulus happened. I was like, "Okay, I'm my stimulus." So, I'm very similar to I use the stimulus to buy my PC to stream, right?

Exactly. See, the God can use the government. I I guess I probably could could claim the same thing because I had left the church that I was at. And then I had no PC because I'd always had a laptop from the church that I was at. So I I needed to go get a laptop and I got a gaming laptop because of sim similar kind of thinking.

All right, well I'm in this sphere. Let me go in that direction. Let me get something better and and be able to do that. So, yeah, get the tools. Get the tools to do the job. So, I did that and I kind of just went all out and um I So, here's the thing. I had a I'd already gotten a year before that, I gotten this iMac. You know, you can't really game on an iMac. No.

So, I I'd already before I had the PC come cuz it cuz this was during COVID, so it took about uh two a little over two months for it to come to me. Um, and during that time I had an iMac and I had a uh I I streamed on the iMac here and there doing just teachings because it could handle OBS.

Um, and yeah, I remember doing that. I remember doing Christmas streams. I was so excited because I I I love talking about these things and sharing teachings. That was my whole life anyway. It was just like if I heard a cool teaching, I just want to share it with people. Um, so whenever that started, um, I just kept working at my server job and working at my, uh, delivery jobs and then streaming whenever I had the chance.

And so I never had a dedicated schedule. Um, I never ever had a schedule. Like if anything, it was just happened to be h doing this the schedule. I never had it listed. Um, so from the beginning I was geared towards doing just teaching apolog not apologetics necessarily that was along the way but like just teaching streams just theological discussion and teaching and that's I know where that's where you you had come in and and and found me really.

Yeah. Um cuz I was like oh you just pop in I be like oh hey flat cap of pasta. I remember like y every single time. Um, and you like to jump in and and you Oh, yeah. I jump in the conversation. Absolutely. Like you're you're talking about this and and you have a level of understanding that I can go more depth than I normally do in in my streams.

Uh, that was was always a lot of fun. And yeah, it wasn't always, oh, it's every Tuesday at this time. I'll I'll raid over to you and we can do it. It's just, oh, you're on right now, so let me let me hang out for a bit. I love y'all's dynamic at reach when y'all were geeking out. I was standing there just admiring.

That was so much fun when we we got there. We'll we'll we'll hold off on that for We're not there yet. teasing people online, too. You see what I do here in this is just, you know, tease. Oh, we're going to talk about that, but just wait. We're not ready to talk. Stay tuned. It's amazing. Just wait. And I think um once we end up uh getting there because I think where we're headed uh that's kind of the peak of where my streaming goes to.

So we'll end up being able to join together talking about this once we start talking about me going to reach. That's a good I think that's a good segue into everything together.

I remember so so generally what I would do is I would teach uh I would do devotional and then gaming. So, it would be like devotional for however how long, however many rabbit trails people want to go down. Y whoever comes in uh and then uh gaming with just random people. Um and yeah, usually I my streams were mostly things like uh read a devotion, talk about random stuff.

Uh and then sometimes I ended up getting into reading entire books on stream. So, I just go into a a theology book or a a Christian book uh on different subjects and just read it on on stream and then talk about it, talk with the chat as I go.

Um so, never really had any particular format. Um I always liked going into like I don't I it's it's it's a blessing and a curse. I I I will talk in ways where sometimes I'll talk over people's heads, but there's a lot of people who are okay with that and go along and there's some people who get discouraged and I'm I try to like figure out that middle ground, but a lot of the times like I'll just go and start geeking out on a Greek word or Hebrew word and talk about those things. Um or just give historical context.

So that's kind of how I started. Uh that's what I ended up feeling called to because I I fig my whole approach has been learning um not just deeper theology things but the particular things that I've learned which are how first century Jewish historical context can help us color our understanding of what's

happening in the New Testament and give us just a deeper understanding of where it's coming from. And that's both good for, because here's the thing.

I felt both called to evangelize to non-believing Jews, but also called to help Christians who don't have that background understand, to deepen their faith.

So it's a kind of a two-pronged approach. And here's the thing I've learned within that is that a lot of times evangelizing to non-believing Jews is done best by believing Jews, and not by a gentile coming in and just trying to like tell him what's up.

Because there's we've learned that historical problems the way that that's gone.

Of course, of course. And that's why I think for the most part my calling has been to be a niche kind of, uh, someone to spur on the gentile church, the people who are not Jewish, who believe in Jesus, to learn more about these things and kind of deepen their faith.

A waterer. Yeah, exactly. So, and that helps with everything overall when it comes to reaching out to people in different cultures and different thinking, and challenging your presupposition.

So I think that's a big thing for me, and I think that's what learning these things spurs you on to. There's a lot of just like taken-for-granted things we learn growing up in a Christian culture, alone but also in a historically primarily gentile church in history that we just assume. Well, they aren't necessarily wrong, but lack color, and some of it can be kind of like misunderstood.

So I like to bring those things in.

Yeah, even just think of things that are non-biblical from the standpoint of, well, we sing three songs and we pass an offering plate, and you know, any of those things that you do, those are non-biblical. I mean, they might be in the Bible, but the formula and the setup, and oh, our service is one hour and that's what we do. Well, why do we do one hour? Oh, because radio would only give pastors one hour to do their service. So we started doing one hour. Oh, why do we do announcements? Because during the civil rights era, you needed to give announcements of everything that was going up. So it's like we have a lot of traditions that come in that we don't even know. Let alone get into first century and figure out when Jesus asks, "Hey, whose face is on that coin? You mean the coin that you shouldn't have on the temple mount that you just pulled out of your pocket to show us all?" Oh, that one. Right?

You know, like we just go, "Oh, yeah, it's a coin. Big deal." We don't, we don't get it. We don't get the, you just pointed out the hypocrisy of what you're doing here by having the face of Caesar on the temple mount. Right?

And even from that, to little things like whenever one of my favorite non-consequential minors of context that doesn't do anything for what we believe, but this shows you how much we just bring in some misunderstanding context is that John the Baptist, when it says he ate locusts, he probably wasn't eating bugs. He was likely eating a plant in Israel called the locust bean. That's like a carob bean, and it's like carob and honey, which is most likely dates. So he was just eating the wild food out in the wilderness. But everybody likes to just be like, "Oh, that weird guy who eats bugs, you know." Okay, it doesn't matter whether or not he did or didn't.

Yeah, I ate a bug.

But it's fun. Yeah, yeah, we both did.

We ate some crickets.

Horrible. Oh, you don't like crickets?

Oh, heck no. Not braces. They're like legs and crap.

Oh, yeah, no, they weren't chocolate covered or else it would have been way better.

Well, I was guessing they were probably sautéed. So or dried of some kind.

Yeah, they were dried. Yeah, imagine a live one. Oh, heck no.

Oh, no, no, not a live one. No. But for so many subscriptions, get your pie hole right now. I love you. Better quit.

So yes, so that's kind of how I got started up. Exactly.

Yeah, wow, that's fascinating. I did not know some of those connections back there in seminary was your connections to getting into it because, yeah, I, uh, I think Wari was probably off to Japan before I found you. So he was no longer streaming at that time when I found you streaming.

So, and he's come, he's come back since then. I think I saw him a bit probably six months ago, but I haven't seen him much.

Yeah, he took another break. Mostly because just family.

Yeah.

You know, three or two daughters, you know.

Yeah, but uh, but they, yeah, coming back from Japan and, um, yeah, just very, very interesting way that God works through different people.

Yeah, and I even love the, the, hey, here's someone that helped me get into it and they're no longer there because that's really part of my story too, because I got into streaming because.

Oh, I got to follow. What was this?

Just followed.

Oh, okay, thank you. Agenda. Wow, I've got a bunch of follows today. We'll get to the end of it and I'll highlight all my follows. Sass, you were saying something.

I'm trying to think of the streamers that inspired me. Trevor, Jate, J, TC. Yeah, those were big ones that inspired me to stream personally.

Mm-hmm. Got a question. Is ancient literature really the best way to organize your life? Well, depends on what ancient literature you are reading to organize your life.

It is if it is inspired and given to us from the creator of the universe, then I'm going to say yes.

If it's something else, I'm going to say nah, probably not.

But yeah, I was just going to say that, um, Pastor Brock VR was a pastor that lived across town from me and he kept talking, yeah, he kept talking about doing VR ministry and doing Twitch. And so during COVID when I was sitting home, I started watching him and he kept telling everybody I was going to stream and I kept going, "No, no, I'm not. I have no interest in doing this. I'm just watching you because I have nothing else to do." And then I finally ended up streaming, but that's a whole different story.

So, uh, so continuing with, so how have, what have been some obstacles that you've overcome as you've streamed or just some difficult times that you've had to go through with streaming and moving into that direction. And you talked a little bit about trying to find a job. So I'm assuming that's a whole piece of that story too.

Mm-hmm.

So I always had a decent job working in restaurants through seminary. Um, and God's provided, and it's never been a matter of, but when it comes to calling and trying to feel purposeful in what you set out to do, yeah, that was definitely discouraging. Uh, that's why I kind of like, I actually ended up applying to different pastor positions for about a year, and after, so from like middle 2019, August 2019 to August of 2020, and then I kind of just dropped off, only did a few of those. Um, and then I kind of stopped applying in April of 2021 after I kind of got in the top three of a mission pastor position. Um, and then it, then they went with someone else, which I'm always like, my mindset was always, okay, good. That was good for where God needed that person at that time. God's going to use them. It's, you know.

I'm not, you know, bummed out.

Yeah, I totally understand. There's sometimes where you can be really bummed out because you're like, "Oh, I really thought that would have been fun. I thought I really could have been used." But I've probably had eight plus churches that I've had conversations with in the last year and I'm not hired by any of them because I tell them I'm only part-time and I'm not available. And yeah, there's some I'm bummed out about. It's like this would have been fun and I would have been able to do some really cool things, but I just keep going. All right, and I also would often say, if I'm not the right person for you, don't hire me. Don't just hire me because I'm a warm body. You know, don't bring me in to do something if I'm not the right person for you. And honestly, that ties into the whole thing because if I would have found a pastor position somewhere, and because I, I'm telling you, everywhere across the country, California to Kentucky to Texas, like I was really, I didn't have any ties in Colorado other than seminary. So like I was willing to go anywhere, do anything, settle down anywhere, just move in to a new life. Uh, and God kept putting blocks in that. Um, and then streaming, and I kind of kept streaming going and then just kept life going. Um, and uh, was kind of settled in my ways. I was complacent in many ways as well. So God worked through that with me and then just like, we'll get there eventually. Stay tuned. But the fact that it took me being where I was and staying in streaming and going to Reach to meet Stephanie, and now I'm here. There's there's a reason for all those closed doors. There was a huge, huge thing that God was leading me towards.

So, um, other discouragements I would say mostly it's, um, the idea of wanting to have more people in stream to learn with. Um, but I did have a lot of support. I mean, because of AI, because of Jake, because of Wari, I was, I mean, I made affiliate in like two weeks, and I didn't stream all that much, but like they're just always sending people over. I was always in the communities anyway, uh, for months before that. So it was kind of this, um, I already felt like part of Christian Twitch, which is crazy.

Well, I think that's a valuable thing. So if there are people who are watching or thinking about this and aren't sure, I did the same thing. I hung out in Christian streams for six to eight months before I was going live. Partially because I wasn't planning on doing it, but also I was building relationships and investing in communities. So when I went live, people were like, "You're live. I'm ready. I'll be over there. I'll show up."

Same with me.

Yeah, mm, so I just, I didn't know I was ever going to stream.

Same with me. I had no plans to stream, and now this is what I do all the time, which is, I think, I think it's a blast at times, especially doing the podcast and getting friends on to just chat. So, um, so I'd say that's a big deal whenever you're just streaming to a couple people. But it's also a blessing because you get to dig deep with just a few people and chat isn't going crazy. That's one thing I've learned when I've had to hop on and kind of like take a, be, I don't want to call myself a space filler, but I do fill the space for Stephanie when she steps off, but she don't want to leave a waiting screen on. So I'll hang out and I'll be on camera for her and like go do things or rest my back for a minute or something.

Exactly. So I know, I know that she, it's a big deal to be trusted by her to be able to do that, but it's also like different than having a slowly scrolling chat. Um, so it was much easier to actually do what I was doing, which was reading out loud and going into really geeky rabbit holes, but having like very consistent handfuls of people who would always be there. So there's two sides to it. There's the like, okay, this isn't growing. That's fine. God's going to use me anyway. I had a job anyway. I wasn't, that was the whole point too. And another thing we can tell people is that, uh, and Stephanie tells people all the time, if you're going to stream, make sure you have a job because you can't just rely on it. Because some people jump, jump in feet first, take away, uh, you know, like thinking they're just going to take off or make money from it.

You're not. And even if you do start really quote unquote making it on Twitch, you're not making a lot of money.

Oh yeah, I'm not.

So like and and you know you're more supportive than a lot of people I know but it's still you know it's only the people who are really really big that are like sitting back.

Well and even regardless of who you are.

If you take three months off how much of that's going to keep coming in. So, right, you really are only secure as long as you're able to be in the space, right?

Consistent.

And we'll get to that when we talk about Hurricane and everything because that's be part of our story at the same time because that's after we met at Reach.

But yeah, I mean that's even with the the most loyal best community we'll see I've ever been a part of at Sassination, like taking off time was a hit.

Um, and you got a raid, baby.

Yeah, you got a raid.

Um, yeah, let's go. Welcome in, Dr. Forehead. Raiding with the party of two. Welcome. Welcome in. How is your stream? You guys give our friend a follow. Um, I'm Sassinator Steph. If you don't know me, I'm a Christian. You don't have to be a Christian to be here. As long as you follow the rules, that's all I ask. And we're called to love no matter what. So, that's what we're going to do. We're going to love you in Jesus name. And right now we're doing a podcast with our dear friend Flat Cap Dapper Pastor and which he's in the dapper hat if you can't tell. And my husband Garrett Gunk Railroad. Um so I hope you guys enjoy the conversation and I hope your stream is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your community with me. God bless you.

Thank you for coming in. So we're just in the middle of conversation. So you were talking about some obstacles, uh Garrett, that you've overcome. What have been some unexpected blessings that you've received or that you've seen in chat or in your community uh online?

I think one of the big ones is how receptive people are to learning deeper theological things when they're not used to it. Uh because that's kind of how I started diving deep because I'm a person who's like eat the meat, spit out the bones, don't.

Right.

Don't get overwhelmed by things you don't know. Just latch on to the things you do know and kind of put a tab on the things you don't understand and don't get overwhelmed by not understanding something and it'll come back around. Uh you'll you'll your mind is much like I didn't realize how like how uh apt the human brain is at remembering things it doesn't understand and then filling in the gaps later because that's kind of what happened with me over two or three years before seminary. Um and if you're passionate about it, if you want to learn about it, you will. So, um, there were a lot of people who came in and learned and I'm, uh, and I learned a lot and I even got to, you know, do fun things with people that I, uh, admired like Jate. He did his God of Gaming and he always like loved that I would just talk about deeper stuff and he invite me on there and talk about, you know, this issue, that issue. One of the first places I learned to kind of dial it back and put it in a little more plain language, a little more basic uh beginner level thinking because it is all about your audience. Um it's all about uh you know if there's a lot of people who are just babies back to the scriptural, you don't need to give them you know full food when they're not ready. So, um, I learned valuable lessons about things that I hadn't even learned in seminary really, um, from people. And I think one of the other blessings, kind of like what Stephanie said, is, uh, people talking about the impact that they made. Actually one of one of um the people who one of my mods who I I hadn't streamed for eight months um uh nine months what after I moved out here and uh he lives in the same state as us and we met up with him and his wife uh with Stephanie and uh two of two of the kids.

Very.

And we went on like went on like a little there's like a little safari kind of thing out here where you get on the hay ride and see all these crazy animals that shouldn't even be in North Carolina. Um, and and that was so fun. And he and he spoke about his time in my chat as like something so formative and and good and I felt like I didn't even know I made this much of an impact on him. As much as he was that loyal, dedicated, and like involved.

You still don't understand.

What you're doing.

Made the impact. And I always there's this um there's one particular story that was the most encouraging and it's this guy named Eugene is his uh his name. He came in asking questions while I was doing apologetic streams and reading an ap my apologetics book from seminary on stream.

Okay.

Um, and he he was Russian and he was like didn't know what was like he didn't really believe and he had a lot of questions and he said, "I'm trying out these different churches. I don't know what kind to go to. I don't really like the Russian Orthodox Church. I really don't believe." So, I gave him a bunch of apologetic things to have him think about whether or not God existed or not. You know, started the basic does God exist? What isn't it reasonable to that God does exist? And how reasonable is it that if the God of the Bible is the God who does exist and if that's true then it just follows that we should believe um in the Bible and therefore believe in Christ and everything he taught. So like it led to those things and again it's not something that I'm like that I he put in the work to learn and to seek and God met him where he was but I was an instrument in that process and he would just come in eventually over like two months he would come in and just be like hi fellow follower of Jesus and I'm just like oh my gosh this is so encouraging to hear.

Um that you know that you could actually like speak life into people, especially when it felt like I wasn't using my gifts or using knowledge or anything I had. Um, kind of just sitting on my hands and doing not necessarily sitting like at my jobs, I always talked with tables because it was always like, "Oh, well, what brought you to Colorado?" "Oh, seminary. Well, why do you want to do seminary?" And then I would talk about there was always inroads and I would always talk to, you know, I'm in my late thirties and even when I went to seminary I was thirty and uh during all that time working at Jimmy John's man and Jimmy John's they're they're all high school or early twenties. So like getting to actually speak into younger people's lives and and give them advice. There's always opportunities. I'm not trying to dismiss that God works in all things. I'll I'll I say this all the time. Um there was a a little tag we put on our backpacks on mission trips and it and it stuck with me and it always will. It says, "Wherever you are, God has put you. Wherever you're going, God is sending you. The living Christ who dwells within you is giving you a purpose to further his kingdom right where you are."

Right?

So it's it's that's what it is. Like we don't need to be discouraged that we're like completely useless because we're not. But I felt um there was a reason for having gotten into these uh deeper theological digs and a reason for being felt called and encouraged for years actually to go to seminary and finally giving into it and then doing it and then I'm feel like okay well what was that for? I'm not one who thinks that you have to go to seminary to teach. Like she was saying, you don't you don't have to be form for formally educated to be uh powerful in God's kingdom, but God will use that.

Um and sometimes it can be a detriment sometimes.

We we have example of Paul who does study under a rabbi who would have had all of the theological training and.

And we have four fishermen that he you know said, "Hey, how about you guys follow me?" you know, so.

He he can use wherever you are and and I can kind of see the there is. If you went to school to do something with that degree and then you don't go use that degree that people are going to keep asking you when are you going to go get a job at that and there's a little bit of identity that is that is struggle with am I supposed to do that or not where you know I am right now where people ask well what are you doing you know I'm streaming on Twitch. What? Thought you were a pastor. Uh, yes I am. And here I am. So, it's all good. And but on the other hand, I may have needed to go to seminary to have the training and then I feel I need to be a steward of my training and give it to people wherever I get an opportunity and chance. But frankly, the the the woman at the well and the Ethiopian eunuch, you know, they get to go immediately or even the demoniac who is healed, they get to go immediately after an encounter with Jesus and go start sharing the word of what it is. They did not, oh, sorry, got to go do a four-year uh internship with Rabbi Jesus, and then you can go do something. Uh we're all called in different spaces with our starting points being different starting points. The devastating life in just.

That's it. And then um I think this is a good segue when it comes to the the next blessing. I would say I you know I I'd been streaming and working for three years about three years um beginning of twenty twenty-one to beginning of twenty twenty-four and then through that year I personally experienced a lot of freedom and uh in my walk with with Christ and my walk with God um and a lot of areas of surrender uh when it came to to giving up control and and and kind of like um like falling under uh falling in line is the best because it because uh in uh the fruits of the spirit um it says like right after it talks about fruits of the spirit it says uh if we walk in the spirit let uh it let us also keep in step with the spirit is a good translation but it's fall in line is a military word so it's like you need to fall in line. You need you need to keep step.

Get in line, soldier.

Uh so I I hadn't been I've been compromised. I had been, you know, very complacent in in my walk. Um I had a lot of knowledge to share, but my walk was not aligning up with that. Uh so there was a lot of surrender, a lot of freedom, a lot of good things, a lot of like um a lot more personal walk with God that I engaged in uh and kind of outside of just the intellectual or theoretical or um and and I did have a walk with God, but it it wasn't lining up the way that um like I said, falling in line. So that year twenty twenty-four, um there was a good amount of just progression in and in in how I was uh learning, how I was uh using my gifts and I started streaming more and more consistently and doing more um I guess kind of like feeling like the knowledge I was sharing was not um or the kind of like experience I was sharing was was more I'd say just consistent um overall. So doing that and then um kind of joining alongside with with different streamers and uh doing collaborations and things. And then I think I had a I had a little bit of a hesitancy at first to do Reach because it was this one this kind of new thing that Romans and uh a couple people had come to me about. I'm just like, "Oh, they're doing this thing. Like maybe trying I thought it was I thought it would be this small little thing. I didn't know what was happening.

So uh once they introduced that um I was like okay I think I'm going to do this and then a friend of mine encouraged me and actually she said there was uh the Holy Spirit she uh kind of runs around charismatic circles and she was very adamant that God had told her when we because it was a childhood friend that I grew up down the street from that I hadn't talked to in twenty years and she ended up living in the same area as me and She when we met up and went to lunch, she said, "God's telling me, you know,

The first time I met, I saw you again. God put a word on my heart and he said that complacency, or uh, complacency, that I'm too complacent. Um, and you know, at first you feel a little insecure about that.

You mentioned that. Yeah.

Yeah. That's that's—

I think a lot of Christians can relate to that.

100%. I mean, when you just like, I, you know, I was complacent with just working where I was working, streaming. I'm fine. I'm making enough money. I live here, you know. Like, just live life, you know. Don't take risks. Just kind of uh, be this single man with a dog, you know.

Um, that's basically it. Gave up on—essentially gave up on God's going to have to do it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to push anything.

Um, and that was a kind of challenge to me. Um, and then she encouraged me. Cuz I mentioned to reach, she encouraged me that I should do that. I should, you know, I should if, if, if you ask, God will do it. So I was like, "Okay." Um, so I kind of fully committed to it and bought the tickets and, you know, did all the uh, bought my plane ticket and I was like, I'm going to go. This is a good networking opportunity. It's it's something I know a lot of people who are going. It's going to be so fun. It's going to be all this.

So, um—

So did you, did you do the uh, Alpha course with it or did you, did okay?

I did. I did a little later in the game. Um, pro—well, not really. I just kind of spaced it out more than other people.

Okay.

I did it like April through August.

Okay.

Essentially.

Yeah. That was about us, too.

Okay. So it was, it was good. I didn't, I think part of what my spacing out was is that I didn't have any leaders in it.

Oh.

I kind of just did them. I didn't have a large enough community to hand it off to leaders or start a Discord discussion. It was just me doing it and discussing it on stream with people—

Which is fine.

Which, yeah. Um, you know, keeping track of who's in chat, you know, getting all the statistics so that the people who gave Alpha as a program could have some kind of measurement of who's seeing their stuff. I get that.

Yeah.

Um, so I think I ended up getting into the 30s or something, which is fine. Like that.

Oh yeah. You know, uh, it, it helped. And then um, I ended up actually kind of in the last month of it, I uh, cuz me, I'd been, I've been playing games like almost every day with uh, Redfire X Trevor.

Um, for yeah, for about a year and a half. He was kind of like my main community uh, outside of just my own, or like, cuz he plays with viewers all the time and that was kind of my way to—

Right.

Just like play with my friends is what it ended up being. Um, so I kind of like asked him and he decided to be one of the, one of the, the leaders. Um, him and his other friend.

Um, and they were kind of the people who I ended up rooming with at Reach. So that's about the extent that I did, did Alpha. I covered all the classes. Um, but yeah, it was, it was a great experience, but I did, I didn't, I didn't understand what was uh, what the impact would be of just not, just re, cuz here's the thing.

When I went to Reach, um, yes, I met my future wife. Yes, I met uh, like, that that was a big impacting experience was just meeting Stephanie.

But at the time that was in the mix—

Of all the amazing things about it. Everybody came away from Reach on a high.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

And it was way bigger than I think anybody thought it would be. Like, like it, like feeling wise.

Yeah.

And maybe that's from going, been around um, anyone from this community from online community in that way. So—

Exactly. I think it's just—

People that I looked up to, people that uh, I came alongside and um, people from my, I had a lot of people come from my community specifically. So yeah, it was, it was huge. Yeah, I think it was like you said, it's that whole like, what happens when people who, it's like um, I'd been on uh, I went and did a wedding from for somebody, a videographer uh, for for a wedding for some people that were in AI community and like, I had to drive from Colorado to uh, I think it was southern Illinois and on the way I got to meet Jay in person for the first time and I stopped—

Saw him.

So like things like that. Um, uh—

Baby.

Yes.

Do you care if I interrupt for a moment? Kristen.

Oh, please.

She's one of my very dear friends and a mod for me. She just lost her dog. I want to pray for her.

Yeah, go ahead.

Dearly Father, Lord, we come before you today um, with heavy hearts for our sister in Christ, Kristen. Lord, we lift her up to you as she grieves the loss of her dog. I know that um, God, this has been a a hard road for her um, in regards to the the sweet dog's health and it's been hurting her and weighing on her uh, to see this companion suffer.

Um, Lord, I just lift her up to you. I pray that you comfort her and her family during this time of grief and loss, Lord, that you just heal in ways that Lord, we just can't without you. Um, God, I pray for you to just wrap them in your loving arms, Lord. Be merciful to them, bless them, and just be with them, Lord. Make your presence known, Lord, and just comfort her hurting heart.

We pray this all in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Amen.

Yeah. And absolutely stop. Like I said before, you know, stop when, when we need to do that. I didn't, I didn't catch that one in in chat, so I'm glad that you did.

And chat's moving a little fast.

It is. Uh, so why don't we, we just kind of pick up there. So I, I had known Romans uh, already before Reach was a thing, and I'd already done Alpha before uh, Reach. I think I did training for Alpha way back in 2006. So I had done Alpha at two or three churches that I had served at.

So I had done Alpha. I was actually already thinking about doing Alpha course with with stream and and bringing that because I'm like, well, I'm doing this, but that's not where everybody is at.

So those that don't know, the way I usually describe it is Alpha is an introduction to the Christian faith. So we had some questions earlier here in the chat dealing with or asking questions about the Bible's reliability and ancient books and those kinds of things, which is one of the things that Alpha takes a couple of weeks and answers and points out and and and we have great discussions around it. And Alpha also isn't let's give you all the answers. It's let's set a safe space to have great conversations with each other. So I, I just always had really appreciated that. So when he said, "Hey, we're going to do this thing at Alpha," I'm like, "I'm in." Um, I'm, I'm all in. I'm sold out. What do we need to do? Uh, how do, how do I help you get the word out and and encourage other people in what they're doing?

So I don't think I was super effective in what I did. But that's also because I'd never done any live events in my Discord. That wasn't how I was using it. So it wasn't like, "Oh, we normally hang out on Friday nights, so we'll just do that." Or, "We normally hang out on Sundays, so we can just do that."