A Story of Ministry after Recovery - Tshepi Mofokeng

All right. Check. Check. I hope this microphone is working and I hope you know I just put in chat I think that um the word ISP is going to become a curse word by the end of today. But it's awesome to hang out with you all. Uh the people that are here for the digital missionary conference. What is, you know, what normally when you do online conferences, you don't have to worry about things like thunderstorms and lightning and traffic and people showing up on time digitally. It's like let's go like everybody thumbs up, you know, Leighton, I'm seeing the Flack app, I'm seeing the GIF there and there's a lot of lot of energy and going and and you know like this ISP this traffic issue that we're having. It's like there's a traffic jam right in front of the building and nobody can find a place to park. So I apologize for the difficulties.

I see Phantom Methos and some of the others are switching over to another DNS uh to get here and that will work. We the Church Digital cannot advise people to do that for liability issues. I'm uncomfortable with that. But if you know how to do that, more power to you or you've already done it and you're here.

Um unfortunately. Hey, Jose, how's it going? Um, like we have like speakers that are coming coming in remotely and um and it's it's just it's it's clogging up here a little bit and and a lot it's funny like I'm looking at chat a lot of the people that are on here are are family. Like it's it's the it's the inner crowd that's coming in for for this conference. I think a lot of our external people unfortunately are having some issues coming in and so uh like we're limping through here at the beginning but we're going to get started here uh with with a keynote very very soon. So hey let me do this. I want to walk through a couple things because some of you may be new to Hubalo and so let's walk through that or even to back up even further the church digital in general.

So if this is your first time with the church digital, hey, my name is Jeff Reid. I am uh founder of the church digital, uh maybe curator of the digital missionary conferences. And you know, I just I love helping people better understand how to utilize digital for evangelism and discipleship. Uh and so we we do a lot of work in digital, we do a lot of work in virtual, we're doing some work in metaverse and really love the idea of empowering people to do something different to connect and reach different people uh for Christ. And so very very very excited about the conference that we've got here with Control Alt Recover.

I'll be honest um this conference is unique. Uh, I don't I don't know that, you know, we're I'm used to doing unique things. I'm used to doing out of the box things. Um, and and I don't know that I've ever seen anything like this, like a a digital recovery conference aimed to help digital missionaries in in in this space. And so, uh, but I I'll tell you like I think this conference meets a huge need. Uh, you know, I talked about this a little bit on Facebook recently and and and Instagram on socials, but you know, at at at a personal level, you know, my life went to crap. Forgive me, but my life went to crap couple years ago. Um, I was was was physically uh broken, uh, emotionally disconnected, spiritually bankrupt, and, uh, and you know, God found me in the midst of my brokenness and and and rebuilt me back. And and a lot of the things that we're going to be talking about through this recovery conference digs into to those pieces where where I can tell you now that I'm I'm embracing those issues, uh the vulnerability and the transparency of that and God working through me um really has I I believe has made me a a better digital missionary or at least that's more um flexible, more agile for what God uh is leading towards. And so my my hope is that all of us would be able to take something away from this conference moving forward.

And so with the church digital, we love to equip and empower people to be digital missionaries. Um if uh if you've never heard of us before, you want to check this out. Go ahead and uh click on check out the church digital equipping and mobilizing digital missionaries. You've got a website uh set up where we basically we do a lot of things on on YouTube on Discord on on Twitch in WhatsApp uh connecting with people and through those connection inviting them into a community to build relationships establish trust a lot of our um evangelism discipleship can happen at the community level we're a strong believer in uh relational evangelism and discipleship even through digital platforms. But through that community, then once we're establishing that relationship and helping people discover who Jesus is, then we go to the next level where what is God calling you to do? What is your calling? And how can we equip you to to do that and even mobilize you, hold you accountability, hold you accountable, send you out to to do what God is is calling you to do.

And so it's a very rich process. Check out the website the church digital, but I I would be um I I would be remiss if I didn't take this right here. Um the like if you like hanging out with us, if you like what you're hearing at this conference, we're going to be talking about this a lot. We have online communities uh available in Discord or WhatsApp. We call it fam. It's it's it's a family. Um we're used to being kind of the island of misfit toys. We're used to like thinking about things and having a a vision that other people don't understand. And so we have uh basically peer communities where we gather together a bunch of you know ministry nut jobs, people that are thinking outside the box, people that are wanting to do things in in virtual reality or in video games or or you know be a church in Twitch and and uh how to how to utilize WhatsApp to to disciple people globally digitally.

Um we're we're doing it's so funny. We're doing a conference next week on on the European Digital Missionary Conference and and I literally just set it up uh where he's got a he's got uh we're doing ten um artificial intelligence simultaneous uh translations in ten different languages live when that conference happens. Like we think outside of the box and we try to find people and partners that do all the time. And so I would invite you join the fam, be part of of of what's coming up here and get the inside scoop, get connected to people here uh with the church digital that can help you on your digital missionary journey. And so lots of cool things that are coming up with the church digital. Um but this may be your first time here uh in Hubalo.

I I know it's a new uh platform for for many. Uh we did a online conference last week called um uh digital neighborhoods and and we it was a phenomenal conference centered around evangelism and discipleship through these digital platforms. And uh we did a stream on it I think Thursday last week with Jason Morris, one of the speakers, Jeff Vanderelt, we we featured his talk. You can find us on the Church Digital's YouTube. I probably should have created a button for that, but YouTube.com/thechurchdigital. Oh my gosh, it was such a good conference. It was such a good experience. But um it was the first go round for Hubalo, which by the way performed miraculously, perfectly. No problems whatsoever.

Um and so like not what we're having here, which isn't Hubalo's problem, unfortunately. It's it's the internet problem, not not Hubalo's. But for the pro the platform today, I'll talk about this a couple times. There's up at the top of the menu right now, there's probably four or five icons that's worth drawing attention to. The first one is labeled reception. Reception is like kind of like the the front desk. It's going to tell you, it's going to open up web page. Don't click on it cuz you'll leave. But it's going to show you everything that's going on with the conference. What's live, where people are, all the sponsors, what the schedules are. Like it's it's the conglomeration of the entire conference in one spiel. Next up is the schedule button. The schedule button in the primary nav across top. You click on that. It's going to show you just the keynotes and the sessions. And and that's how you would access and come in.

The third button and this is awesome. The third button is the sponsors. The church digital we are able to do free conferences like this at free meaning no cost to you uh because of our sponsors in in in many ways the sponsoring of these conferences actually enables what the church digital does. A huge percentage of the church digital's annual income comes from these sponsors. A and with the sponsors, it's important to realize these are people that respect and value what you're doing in digital ministry. I don't I don't like just go get some random people that want to like, you know, cut a check and and and push quote unquote garbage on you all. I try to find people that well I do find people and they find me that are excited about what you're doing and can better benefit the ministry that you're wanting to do in digital and virtual spaces.

And so I promise you every person that's in on the sponsor list and all the other sponsors that have been helping with all of our conferences, these are checked. These are valuable resources that can help you in what you're doing. So take some time go over the sponsor list that's there today. The fourth button is called tables. This usually is the best part of the digital missionary conference. Uh unfortunately with the crowd not being able to come in right now it's it's a little difficult I I would say because we're not able to get uh a lot of the people on. But the tables are where you connect with sponsors, you connect with other people. We'll have breaks during the during the session where you can connect, talk, meet, dig into some of that. A and so I would say that is a great place for for you to meet other people, maybe even pray for other people. Maybe as we're talking about being transparent and open, find somebody that that you would maybe want to have a conversation with in that space.

You know, I'll tell you as as much as possible. I'll be hanging out at the church digital table afterwards, but f hang out with our sponsors. You hear someone what they're doing, you want to have a conversation, they would love to talk with you there. And then, um, last thing is tech support help. I mean, obviously, internet service providers are an issue right now. You're having a hard time getting in or people are having a hard time getting in. You made it in. But if you're confused on what's going on or your camera's not working or something like that, in the lower wrong way, in the lower right hand side of the screen right now, there is a uh a red button with a couple uh chat bubbles in it. Orangeish red button, lower right hand corner. Click on that is a window will pop up and you'll have immediate conversation uh with some of our our volunteers.

I think we've got Ian hanging out there. I think Steve Reed is hanging out there. I think Utope is hanging out there from Africa. Uh Leighton Flatcat might be floating around. I've got it actually open on my screen right now. And um and so we will help you as best as possible to to get connected to find where you're supposed to go and to solve the tech problems. We can't we can't make the internet miraculously work for all these people that are stuck in internet traffic hell. But when you get in, we can definitely help you try to, you know, get where you're you're you're supposed to go or or solve the problems that you have.

Okay. Now, listen. I was supposed to at this point invite uh Conrad Cooper to the stage and we were going to talk about um the the Church Digital, one of the Church Digital's primary partners right now, Project Exodus.

I at a personal level am very excited about Project Exodus. They're one of the headline sponsors of this conference and I want to get you connected to what Project Exodus is doing.

And so I'm excited to feature Conrad, who's the founder and executive director of Project Exodus as soon as I can. Right now, unfortunately, he's one of these people that are stuck in internet traffic and is not able to make it here.

I'm actually like WhatsApp is open on this monitor over here on my screen and Andy is actively texting with the Project Exodus team, which is based in South Africa, by the way, actively texting with the Project Exodus team to get Conrad and Damian, who's going to talk about Project Exodus, to get them on the camera.

But actually, we recorded a conversation that was going to be after Conrad Cooper that's featuring Stacy Knap, who's the care director of the Church Digital and the Church Digital's chaplain for lack of a better term.

But Stacy interviewed recently Sephy Muffing who is from South Africa. An incredible story. Now what I'm excited about with Sephy is her is the role that recovery had in her life.

Listen, as a guy that struggled with addictive behaviors, I can tell you I lived in fear that if my addictive behaviors were to be discovered, I would be fired from my ministry job because for lack of clarity, I had a boss tell me at one point at a church, "Hey, if any of you are struggling with addictive behaviors, go ahead and get out of the church now. Quit your job so you don't screw up what God's doing at this church."

Maybe not the most healthy approach to that, okay. And in hindsight, some years later, I think we've all matured. Well, some of us have matured beyond that standpoint.

I would tell you that boss at a personal level, I know we've talked about it, has matured past that. But what's interesting with Sephy is that her recovery story didn't stop her ministry career. It actually amplified it. By leaning into recovery, by being transparent and vulnerable and allowing God to move in her life, she actually found herself used by God in a higher level.

And so Stacy and Sephy actually jumped on a call this past weekend. They recorded it in advance because ironically Sephy was having a hard time with internet speed once again in South Africa.

And so we got the two of them together. We did a pre-recording of it, edited, and it came out great. So we got no problem introducing Sephy because we've got it on video.

So here's what I'm doing right now. We are going to get Sephy and we are going to get Stacy Knap in a conversation right now.

We're calling this, oh my gosh, I don't know what we're calling this. Where are we calling this? I don't know. I've got a title somewhere. I don't have it on my screen in front of me. But this is a beautiful conversation about restoration amplifying ministry potential. All right, everybody, here, take a look at this video.

Hey TCD out there, Church Digital. Um, as Jeff said, I'm Stacy and what a gift we have um today as we just kind of share and chitchat and get to know Sephy here.

And Sephy, I just recently met through Project Exodus's Ministry of Recovery, and I am privileged and honored to have this conversation with her about her recovery road and some maybe some of the turning points that and how God is working in her and through her.

So Sephy, thank you so much for agreeing to share your story with the world here um in our um recovery conference today. So thank you.

Well, thank you for having me, Stacy. Um, super excited.

Um, yeah. So, what was it like growing up for you?

So I grew up in a single parent household. Um, grew up as an only child. Um, my grandmother is like and rather was um one of my pillars. Um, I grew up in a house that, you know, taught me about loving God and living um Christian life.

Um, I describe the early years of my life as awesome and just incredibly amazing. The first few years um I got to just be a child and be carefree um and just have fun um until um when trauma hit in um and that really changed the trajectory of my life.

And you're uh you mentioned uh where you grew up but in what country? I guess we didn't clarify that. So I am from South Africa. Um, born and raised in Johannesburg. Um, and currently reside in Durban.

Durban. Yeah. Okay. Great. Thanks. So you mentioned trauma. I mean that that was a turning point for your life.

And so can you just give us a snapshot of that? You know, the trauma that you experienced and maybe how that uh led you into maybe some some uh adaptive how you how you adapted and coped with that.

My first traumatic experience um was at the age of six um at a neighbor's house um where I basically got exposed to um sexual abuse um and in that was told not to tell my family about it.

Um, and so as a six-year-old, um, I was put in an uncomfortable position, um, where I basically had to learn to keep, um, secret, um, and secrets which were uncomfortable for me to keep, um, secrets which were hard for me to keep.

Um and um that thing um the abuse, it happened twice at my neighbor's house. Um, but little did I know that it wouldn't end there and that I'd basically have to go through life um just experiencing isolated events of abuse um multiple people different times um and again constantly feeling like I can't tell um my family or my mom about it. Um and it it really it broke me in more ways than I could think or imagine.

Um I've had moments when I wanted to tell my mom but didn't know how to do it and um attempted to tell my mom.

Um, and eventually at the time, you know, she she told me she was tired. And then, um, me having a bit of a stubborn mind, it was like, okay, I will never tell you anything again.

Um, and that's where I basically just kept that silence to myself. And then I attempted at a later stage was like to be try again.

I attempted and wrote a bit of a letter which I think she didn't see. So then I took it back and destroyed it. Um and then my last resort was to speak to my cousin who I knew um he would go and basically try and mediate a conversation between my mom and I.

And I planned it out that I was going to tell him on a specific date. Um but unfortunately I never got to tell him on that date because then the day before um he got into a car accident that was fatal.

Thinking about that I'm I'm reminded of the phrase or the truth that people say we are as sick as our secrets. We are as sick as our secrets.

And so that's what I'm taking away from what you said. Like you were you didn't want to you knew you had to share it.

Um but then you but then hear this tragic tragic death of your cousin who was going to help facilitate that meeting and it was that's so tragic.

That is so hard. Now what was your response though? I mean like what did that change maybe your perception of God or change your your relationship with God?

Um I think definitely. So to tell you a bit of what happened the day that um he passed on. Um I had an encounter with God for the first time that night because when he took the car and he left um I was quite awake and then so for some strange reason

um I was 12 years old at the time. Um for some strange reason um I started praying um and while um I prayed um it got to a point where I basically felt the Holy Spirit kind of speak to me and prepare me.

So as a 12-year-old I was like no I don't know what this is. Um, I I I really I don't know what this is.

It's not making sense. But about probably round about an hour later, um, after I felt the Holy Spirit tell me what just went down and was like, "Nah, you know, it's it's not true." Then the police came to our house um because the car accident happened like probably two streets away from our home and the police came and asked if we know of such and such a car. Um and then my mom obviously said, "Well, yes." And then that's when we were notified that the person was in a um car accident and my family was then called to go to the scene um where it was revealed that actually he he passed on and um it didn't survive the crash. Um, so I think in terms of how it impacted my relationship with God, um, I I got to a point where I felt very angry with God.

Um, but at the same time, strangely enough, feeling comforted that God prepared my heart um, before it actually happened. And in as much as I guess it was confusing at the time, um it showed me a certain love and care from God because had he not prepared my heart then I think it would have devastated me far more than it already had. So not only I mean as as if it was enough that you were traumatized right as uh from your neighbors but this person in your life is is gone from this world and from your relationship.

I mean that's a devastating loss. So what then was the next thing? What was the I guess we we talk about u your coping mechanisms that you went into?

Um so um at 12 years old um at the time of his death I was already because of um the emotions that came with um past abuse because of um through the abuse being exposed to things that no child is supposed to be exposed to.

Um, one of the things that I wanted to reveal to to my cousin um was that I was actually I didn't see it as addiction at the time, but I wanted to reveal and tell him that um one of the things I'm struggling with um is um related to um a pornography type of thing and I didn't know why I was doing it and I want help. Um, and so when he passed away, um, I kind of fell deeper into that cycle.

Um, this time around, feeling completely silenced because the person I was going to go speak to, um, to help me reach out to my mom was no longer around.

Um, and I figured, well, maybe maybe I maybe I shouldn't try and tell anyone. Um, little did I know that me holding on to that silence was keeping me deeper and deeper um into that addictive cycle.

Wow. Sharing your story, this part of your story and being vulnerable um with me and with us is um so deeply meaningful. Um it's so powerful and because it's it is a a subject um that we in the church don't talk about much.

It is not something or just pain and sorrow and trauma even. That's not really something that's widely communicated um with our church families or you know our community.

So, um, yeah, I I would think that it would be challenging. So, what what then, cuz it sounded like, yeah, it was turned to your your go-to.

What was it? What was the destructive part of of pornography? Um, I feel like, you know, it it turned me into a person I'm not and it gave me flawed perspective of um, sexuality um, giving me distorted views of what sexuality is um, and taking away from, you know, God's original design um, for something like sexuality. Um and alongside my pornography use um came um me basically acting out. So, we talking eating disorder, acting up. Um, we talking at a later stage when I was in my twenties, um, putting myself in in dangerous situations.

Um, where I was like speaking to some random dude. Um, and that's something that was like completely out of character for me. Um but because um the addiction in itself got progressive um and I guess I kind of felt like I got to a point where I felt like I needed more.

So just outside of um the videos um then I put myself in a dangerous situation um which in and of itself ended up in an assault.

Um, in high school, um, in high school I found myself enmeshed in in a toxic relationship with a friend, um, I grew up with.

Um, and I basically, if he asked me for any anything, any image of myself or whatever, I've send it to him. And that's all because um pornography use taught me that well that's okay.

And that's what a person needs to be to be loved and accepted. So it yeah, it distorted the truth about who you are and how God made you and designed originally designed you.

At what point too? I mean, I think I'm kind of identifying with this a little bit is that, you know, we the uh goto uh coping mechanisms really messes with the truth.

It distorts the truth of God. And um and that really that speaks to me. That speaks to me. I I think um that's that deeply impacts me personally that our coping mechanisms addiction what became an addiction can be it's really uh it it become it's a lie to what God's truth of of God's truth is and um wow that's really powerful thank you for sharing that. And so I'm wondering now at what point did you find um you know project exodus or how you got involved with project exodus which is the um you know helped you in in the redemptive work.

I got involved with project exodus about four years ago. Um I think it's around about four years ago. Um I didn't know about project exodus.

Um so I was volunteering um as an online mentor um for um another organization um called Focus on the Family Africa. Um when COVID hit my heart was because when I was on campus um I used to go on mission trips.

Um and my heart was I want to still be able to mission. Um and so I prayed and asked God to give me a space to do that.

And through Focus on the Family then I got involved in online mentoring. Um, and then basically I got to a point where I was highly depressed.

Um, and extremely shameful about my behavior. Um, I wanted to find a way out. Um, like I mentioned earlier, when like becoming a person I'm not.

Um, and so I asked the lady who headed the online mentorship team. I asked her to please pray for me. So I sent um this email to her just to say, "Please pray for me.

I'm battling." Um, but she was able to read beyond those words. Um, and her response was, "Well, I'm going to call you." Um, so she called me that day and we then kind of spoke and I opened up about um the journey I've been walking with addiction.

Um, and she told me, well, there's this um there's this thing it's called Project Exodus and um they have groups um across the country and they also have groups online.

Like, "Well, okay, cool. Um, I'll give it a try." Um, and then I obviously go check out um Project Exodus's website and I found a section where I could um send an email to them.

Um, and they were also quite quick to respond to me. Um, I spoke to a lady um that day who, you know, spoke to me and met me with so much grace and met me with so much love.

Um, and one of the first things she said to me is that, you know, she she prayed. She said she prayed before we had um the conversation.

One of the first things she said to me is that there's a calling over your life didn't make sense at the time. Um that she didn't give up on me.

Um regardless of how hard especially that first year of recovery um was hard for me because it was um that constant cycle of I'm doing well and then now I'm not doing well.

Um, the fact that you didn't give up on me, I think kept me going, um, and motivated me to pursue um, recovery. My family didn't know about my addiction.

Because my family didn't know about my addiction, I refused to go to any of the in-person groups um around um Johannesburg cuz I was scared that someone is going to be there and then tell them.

So, so I stuck to online groups. Um, and then last year, last year I finally had an incredible full circle moment when I moved from Joburg to Durban to then become part of the project Exodus team um as an intern.

Um, and it's a yeah, it's a dream that I get to enjoy. That is indeed like a full circle uh moment that there is and in the moment when we first start uh recovery, you know, or just any inner healing process that sometimes we just can't see the future yet.

We could barely see it today. And so now then to experience that like you said full circle moment that is that is a uh to see God say oh this is what you had planned.

They invited me to one of the training workshops that they had um in Joburg and then basically we had some of the team members during that workshop sharing their stories which spoke to me.

Um so it spoke to me in such a way that I thought that is so cool. I don't know what it takes to to like have that.

Um but I want that. Um and it was on that day of that workshop um where I can say actually my recovery journey started um because now there was new fire in me um that was planted to to be better and that gave me hope that actually recovery is possible.

Um the journey um as I learned that day um I learned isn't necessarily easier and yes um I think even being almost be three years of recovery um next month even being close to three years of recovery I'm still aware that um it's a constant journey that I need to always you know,

walk with faith and having an understanding that it's not always going to be easy. Um, yeah, I thank God for for the support structure that I have.

Um, and for people who always keep me in check. Yeah, I love the accountability aspect of this that the value of accountability um that it's not it's not just ourselves you know this is with other people in community uh in in recovery and and when you say you know when you you

were online mentoring it sounds like even before you started your recovery journey intentional recovery journey that you were you were an online mentor. Were you involved in a lot of things?

I mean, I don't it sounded though it didn't stop you from being involved in your church. Um, so yes, I've always been someone being who's been actively involved um within church structures.

I think I think though um at a time it was problematic because my heart wasn't completely aligned to God um in the sense that I was obviously for most part of that I'm a negative addiction um but and I also just felt like or rather let me put it like this a realization

that I got to have once I stepped into into recovery was just how um I lived a double life for a moment where I had one foot in the church and then the other foot was not in the church.

Um that's like a moment I'm not proud of. Um because I do think that if um I do serve in the church um there's a fear of the Lord and reverence that has to come with that space um which previously I guess wasn't necessarily there.

Um, and if I could redo that, um, I think I would have possibly stepped down from worship a long time ago. Um, cuz I stepped down from things like worship for like a period of three years before I stepped back into worship last year.

Um, and this time with a different heart posture. Um, and just really having my eyes fully fully fixed on God um rather than other things um which were corrupting me.

Yeah, I I identify with that. Um I yeah, I identify with that. I I think a lot of us who minister, you know, we grew up in a church culture like you serve serve serve.

You're busy and and then that becomes our go-to, you know, that becomes our coping mechanism to stay busy so that we don't have to deal with the other parts of our lives.

Um what our our behaviors, our destructive behaviors are. Um I think that is in our context in the church digital that we're busy you know a lot of people need to know about Jesus in the digital spaces and I think that is something for us to really consider as as we minister that

we need to pause and think okay and take um take inventory or stock of our energy and time and say, "But am I working through some of the behaviors that I, you know, negative behaviors?" Maybe there's things we need to, you know, pause and think about that because if we if we don't,

we might we might then um burn out or continue destructive behaviors. U like you said, a double life. I think that can absolutely we we can be absolutely um vulnerable to that.

Yeah. Um but definitely I think I was definitely um vulnerable to that. Um because the main reasoning behind why I continued to serve in church even while battling with an addiction was just around the fact that people couldn't know um the Tippy I am when I'm not at church, when I'm not

walking on campus. Um that Tippy was a completely different Tippy than the one um she was um the moment I got to my dorm room.

Yeah, I I that is a um that's kind of a life lesson for us. I for anyone in in ministry and I think that's really important for us.

So um but what a gift. You are a gift to to me personally, but you're you also a gift to God's kingdom and how he is continues to work in you and through you and impacting um others with with transparency that you could be transparent and open and honest.

And I I believe, you know, as uh Jeff Reed has said with us in TCD, if we're if we're going to be a light a light in a digital space or in darkness, we need to shine a light on ourselves.

And um you are an example of that. Shining the light on yourself and getting real and open and honest with yourself with God and trusted people.

So in your story, this redemptive work working for project exodus now I'm wondering what what encouraging word do you have for the church digital for the ministers and the leaders within uh church digital people who are being equipped to be missionaries and and um share the gospel uh the or the gift of

life of salvation that we can have through Christ, what would be your encouraging word to us? I think the biggest thing um that I'm learning now um even as someone who obviously is um somewhat actively involved in ministry, whether be it um being part of the worship team or um working

within um working within um a recovery ministry space. Um, one of the things that I'm learning um is around again just being true and honest with myself um first um being authentic um is a is a big one for me.

Um, it's okay to be in ministry um and still be authentic um and still speak bold truth um in a in a kind and honest spirited way um without um feeling fear.

Um, and it took me a lot of time to get me to get back to that place because one of the things that I struggled with was around my voice.

Um, I felt like my experiences got me to a point where I felt voiceless. Um, and I also with that felt like I couldn't I couldn't be honest.

Um so there is space for that and um just space um for how do I put it? I feel like there's just a lot in my heart that I could share.

Um a space to allow ourselves be spirit led um fearlessly, boldly, courageously. Um, one of my favorite verses, um, I think Joshua 1:9, um, this is my command.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Um, it's a it's a verse that carries me um in everything that I do.

I love it. That is an encourage definitely encouragement to us. Yeah. Yeah. Being courageous in the Lord, not on our own, you know, uh willpower trying to be courageous, but it's founded and grounded in the Lord.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Seppy. I know you have have a lot. There's so much more we can share you can share in your story.

Hey. Um, also if they if you know maybe may you know with us in in the church digital eventually going to roll out these this uh ministry.

What would you say as we as we close here? What would you say to the person that says, "Well, I'm not I'm not addicted to pornography or I'm not addicted to, you know, uh alcohol or drugs." Yeah, that's a hard one.

Hey. Yeah, that's that's a hard one. Um because obviously for a long time I was that person. Yeah. No, I did not share that one with you.

No, you're right. I um I live by the words that where there's truth, there's freedom. Um, and sometimes it takes having to accept that hard truth um to get to a place of freedom.

And sometimes freedom requires work. Um, which I guess stepping into recovery, I mean, making that daily commitment um does require work from us.

But also allowing yourself to have honest, potentially difficult and uncomfortable conversations. It can be quite healing, quite restorative. Thank you.

Healing, hope, healing and restorative. I love that, and freedom to be, to experience. And I think that really is the key to this. If you want to experience that, then yeah, step into recovery or inner healing type groups.

So you can experience all those things, all centered in the love of God and Jesus Christ. So thank you again, my sister in Christ, Sepy.

Thank you so much for spending time with me here today, and God bless you.

Awesome. Hey, give it up for Sepy and Stacy.

Ironically, 75% of the world cannot access the conference here, but Sepy and Stacy are two of the people that are currently in our Hulu platform. So man, how brave. I was actually seeing some of that in chat. How brave to be able to say this publicly, to embrace it, to talk about it, to use your life as a testimony towards that.

So stay, Sepy. Thank you very much for sharing today. Now, we did this a little out of order, and so we're going to talk about TCD recovery and our plan to help digital missionaries like you maybe work through some of the stuff that you need to work through, but also learn to help others in that. And listen, Stacy referenced it in the call. If we're going to shine the light in the darkness, we have to be prepared to shine that light on ourselves. By the way, shining that light on ourselves, digitally, that makes us endearing. That makes us vulnerable. That makes us trustworthy. And so like, not hiding stuff is the tool of the devil. Burying it is the tool of the devil. Embracing it allows God to move through that activity.

We're going to get more into all of this in a little bit. Hey, let me do a little housekeeping here.

So we've got some people here in Hubalo. Through the magic of the interwebs, it looks like all of the technology issues globally are solved. And so if anyone wants to come into Hubalo to be part of the conference that we're doing here, you're welcome to do that.

Now, some of you are saying, "But Jeff, they were already watching the conference." What I didn't say earlier is, by the way, thank you Andy, thank you Flat Cap, thank you Barbara, everybody that's working behind the scenes. For the past hour, we've been broadcasting this conference as well on Twitch. It's actually, thank you Mr. Pete, it's actually in virtual reality on Big Screen VR platform.

And so we've got dozens of people right now that are engaging in this conference that are not even here at the conference. And so you guys want to stay on the platforms on Twitch and Big Screen, you're more than welcome to. I love watching the digital missionary conferences get bootlegged, and so happy to keep doing that. I know Flat Cap is excited to facilitate some of those conversations in Big Screen and on Twitch, but you're more than welcome to come in.

And if you're watching this and you're like, "Hey, I didn't register for the conference," here's the back door. I'm calling it the back door. Here's the secret to access this conference for free. Go to recovery.mmissionary.digital. Open up a web browser. Recovery.mmissionary.digital. It's going to take you to a page. There's going to be a form. All it needs is your email address. I don't care what email address you put in. Just put in your email address there in the slot.

Then it's going to say something about a code. Here's the super secret code. You ready for this? A four-digit code. Type in 2025. Recovery.mmissionary.digital.

Step two, email address. Step three, enter the code 2025. That's going to get you into the conference for free. No bouncers, no money needed.

This is a 100% free conference and we want you here. So thankfully the interwebs now seems to be working and we would love to have you come in. If not, hang out where you are and have a blast.

Hey, so getting back on schedule here a little bit. We have one of the big sponsors of the digital missionary conference this round is Global Church Movements, GCM, and I want to let them tell a little bit about their story of recovery and support and embracing some of these ideas as digital missionaries.

And so listen, I love Rudina who's about to share a testimony with you. Rudina and Cadis are from Albania and are very active leaders and probably one of the largest global digital movements that are happening in America today.

And so let me go ahead and key up this video testimony. Listen to what Rudina is about to tell you about her digital missionary story.

Here I'll go. I am assuming somebody was going to push play on that and that did not happen. So let me push play on that. Okay, everybody, here y'all go.

My name is Rudina Bakali and I serve as a global digital strategist with Global Church Movements. I'm so passionate about the online ministry that even my thesis for my master of arts was focused on social media and the gospel.

Today I would like to share with you my personal journey with my ministry on TikTok. Last December, I decided to be on TikTok. And this was a bold move for several reasons. First, it's because I am a mom of three children. And it's not easy for a mom to be in a platform like TikTok where people are really mean and they don't spare you with their negative comments. It's like once you are there, you are set for fiery darts. The other is my own insecurities because I decided to be there with my face, with my voice, and not to be behind an avatar.

So this was not an easy choice, and from the very first moments I experienced the heaviness of the hate language and how people were meaner than I could ever imagine or thought.

So it has been a battle to remind myself of who I am in the Lord, who I am in Christ. I remember one time when I posted a video and between the positive comments, I received some very angry comments from people and some of them were so mean.

I noticed anxiety growing within my heart and I was questioning, why am I doing this, Lord? Why do I put myself in front of others to tear me apart with their tongues? And I was kind of thinking, why don't I just stay in blogging and stay in Facebook where people know me and I don't face the same kind of reaction. I don't face the hate of people. I don't face the ugliness of their tongue.

And there have been some passages from the Bible. One of them is from Isaiah. It's actually from Isaiah 42:6-7 when it speaks about how we are called to share the good news but to open the eyes of the blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison, those who sit in darkness.

And whenever I think of social media, I think of this specific passage in the Bible: those who sit in the darkness and bring out the prisoners from the dungeon.

And I felt like TikTok is like a dungeon that it smells. It's so bad. It's so heavy. And I was reminding myself that there is a cost to that. And God can give me the grace, the strength to keep going, to keep going and not to worry about the fiery darts.

And at times I felt like the Lord was reminding me that he breaks the weapons of those who attack us. So it felt like their words were like weapons, like arrows that would break. They would not reach me. So I should continue because they didn't have power on me and who I was in Christ. That was a moment of self-realization.

Also, there was another moment when in the midst of the comments, I stopped and I started to pray and the Lord led me to a psalm. I think it was Psalm 31. It's written in my journal. But I started to pray verse after verse after verse and to my surprise, all the comments, bad and good, stopped. No comment for 24 hours, nothing. And it reminded me that we are in a spiritual battle for the souls of people, that this is not about me being an influencer. I'm not there to call people to follow me. I'm there to call people to follow Christ. I'm an ambassador of Christ calling people to reconcile with God, not with me but with God.

So that was a moment of realization of the importance of supporting what I do in prayer and especially blessing and praying for the people who hurt us and who slander us and tear us apart with their tongue and with their words, to have mercy on them.

And another thing that I've learned is how do I balance wisdom in responding to people so I don't become like them, but at the same time in kindness I can help them and I can bring them toward light.

And one of the passages in the Bible that has been like a guidance for me is from Proverbs 26:4-5 that says, "Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes."

So for me, it's been like, "Lord, teach me and help me to understand how can I answer to someone so I don't become like them but at the same time they can see their folly."

And I think, at least how I understand it or how I apply it, the way that I respond matters a lot. If I respond in anger, if I respond in sarcasm, if I respond in revenge, if I use the same tactics to put them down, I become like them.

But if I respond in a different spirit, like I respond in kindness, in firmness and respect and kindness, but at the same time I keep ground of the truth, I don't give up on the truth, then I think I help them see the foolishness of their arguments or of their words. So I'm still learning this.

I think it's an art and each case is different, but I've seen the reward of that when people have been more open after arguing and when you respond in kindness, then they become more open and actually they probably become your friends.

And the last thing that I would share is about this idea of being influential or what is true influence according to the world. The influence is to have more followers, as many followers as you have. People call themselves influencers and TikTok will call you an influencer when you have 1,000 followers. Well, I am an influencer according to TikTok.

But true influence is not about how many views you have or how many people are following you, but is how many people are transformed or are drawn closer to Jesus.

I'll share a story and I'll leave it with this: of a young student who wrote to me after one video that I posted on TikTok. We talked about the university. This video was about tips on choosing the university and this comes from my background as a licensed career consultant. So she reached out to me on inbox. We talked together. She was a bit discouraged and she saw no options for her university. And then we talked a few times.

She reached out to me like a month ago to tell me that she had enrolled in a university in Tirana, my hometown, and she was looking forward to meet me in person. She thanked me for encouraging her and giving her hope and that gave me so much joy. That was one of the videos that had very few views. It was in the 200 views range, but I'm so happy because it reached out to her and I can't wait to meet her in person and share more about the love of Christ for her.

These are some of the things that I've learned that I hope will encourage other people. We are just Christ ambassadors to call others to reconcile with Christ and to follow Christ.

They are not our followers, but we are like a light. Help them finding the true light and love in life Jesus Christ. God bless you.

I told you right. She is so good and it's incredible the work that is happening digitally through global church movements. Um, let me go ahead and do this. I think I've got a link here. Click on that button. Click on that button. Sorry, I was so much in the chat.

I got disconnected. Uh, want to start a digital or physical movement globally? Global Church Movements. They're doing a great job. Check out the website, globalchurchmovements.org, I believe.

Thank you for that slide popping up there. Yeah, globalchurchmovements.org. Um, part of the crew family and the work they're doing digitally is very, very cool.

So we are going to be talking uh more about GCM and some of the other, oh, some of the things that we're doing uh globally. Like, I'm excited about this. Uh, Stacy uh will be hanging out over in the TCD booth hopefully. By the way, cough, Stacy, I need you to hang over at the TCD table uh because we are, we're um, oh, that's the wrong thing. Maybe, oh, you know what? That's Project Exodus. We're going to talk more about Project Exodus later. I'll leave it on the screen a little bit.

But Project Exodus is also one of our sponsors. I'm excited. We've got uh Conrad Cooper uh founder, executive director of uh visionary of Project Exodus. We got all the tech figured out from South Africa. We are going to do his keynote right around the corner. We are about, I'm going to be honest, we're about ten minutes, fifteen minutes behind schedule right now with all the tech issues.

By the way, thank you to all the tech volunteers running behind the scenes trying to communicate and get all of this straight. I could just rattle off so many names that have been blowing up and handling emails and social media and WhatsApp and all that. But thank you very much for everybody that's handling that.

But we're going to take a ten minute break right now. So we're gonna, the tables are open up at the, if you're in Hubalo, up at the top, there's a button that's going to say tables and uh you can go ahead and click on that. Jump into a table, have a conversation, meet some people, talk to some of the sponsors that are there, start to engage in Hubalo.

If you're watching on Twitch or in VR, I'm going to hand it over to Leighton and Leighton's going to facilitate some of the conversations, maybe talk a little bit about what we've been talking about here uh so far in uh in the conference, maybe, you know, um, how does vulnerability help you or maybe what's fearful in some of those situations? I know Leighton's going to share uh with you all that as well.

So hey, let's take at this point a nine-minute break. Let's come back at 12:20 uh US Eastern. So when the little minute hand is at the twenty, unless you're in India, come back. If you're in India, is that thirty minute different? India fifty. Uh, come back. Okay, everybody. Thanks. Have a good one.